RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up 5 year relationship ended..

Me and my gf have been dating since the 9th grade.. and we both felt like we were more then just bf and gf but we weren't engaged. But we had a ring picked out and we wore promise rings to promise to be married and live happily ever after and everything was going great. I was committed and loyal to spend the rest of my life with this girl who I've grown up with.. around our 5 year anniversary she starts hanging out with a Guy friend. She's one of those girls with a lot more Guy friends then girlfriends so this is normal and everything's fine. But then she starts spending more tine with him then me and she starts telling me that he says I don't know what I've got and he loves her... now she comforts me and says he's really sensitive and she's trying to find a way to tell him that were going to continue to be together... a few weeks go by then the next thing I knew she says that he told her "promising to marry someone is really big and you shouldn't make promises you can't keep" then she's not wearing her promise ring anymore and tells me she loves him and we need to be single for us and see other people.. basicly breaks up with me and I havnt talked/texted/called etc. For about 5 days and I'm wondering what to do? Is she being influenced by him? Has she grown apart? Does she really not love me the way I love her? Will she come back? She says she wants to be friends but idk... I'm really heart sick and I want to move on to bigger and better things.. but she's always on my mind and I still love her very much..

Well..im sure she still has fealings for u, but mayjust want to take a break from the relationship. if that guy doesnt work out for her then shes bound to come back to u. the only thing i can say is if u loveher, u should just wait and see what happens. i dont really get way she left so unusually but my guess is she may have felt like she may have wanted to take a break or felt stress. If she does come back, let her know that u love her.

thanks for the advice I will make sure she knows that but what I didn't mention before is that this is the third Guy she's caused relationship problems over and I'm wondering if she's the one for me? Does she just have a problem with committing and being responsible in a relationship? What else could she be looking for if I'm here.. been committed and loyal for 5 years and ready to go all the way?

She needs her time to figure out what she wants. Its only natural for her to wonder if being with the same guy since 9th grade is really what is meant to be. I am sure that if you both have been together for 5 years that it is true love. Some people just don't want to believe that happily ever after can actually happen to them. When she decides that its okay to believe in happily ever after she will be back.

Hello Darknoldor ~ welcome

I'm not sure about the age in 9th grade. Year 9, here in the UK, is for 13-14 year olds, but I think that 9th grade is for students aged about 14-15. Is that right?

People change a huge amount between their early to mid teens and adulthood. Very few relationships that begin during one's teens will stand the test of time. There are exceptions, of course. I know a couple who started dating at 15 and are still together in their late 50s. My husband & I are also in our 50s and we, too, have been together since our teens. But I think that we are unusual in this respect.

As I have mentioned on other threads, people in their teens are only just out of childhood, and they are ready to grow and change a lot, as they experience the world ~ new people, new places. Couples who seem to be perfect for each other and set for life often grow apart at this stage. It happens more often than not, I would say. If you have been together since age 15 to age 20, then I think that you have already been very successful and done very well ~ and I am not really surprised that there have been problems in your relationship in recent times.

One's first love is very special and, if there has been a long-term happy relationship, then parties may really want it to last and may even consider becoming engaged ~ even married in some cases. But ... chances are that it won't last and that, as people grow, change, mature, etc, they will want something different. That is when the relationship starts to dissolve. It really is better when this happens naturally, and not after marriage or, especially, after children.

It may be that you are soul mates, and that you are meant to be together. If that is the case, then you may well experience 'happy ever after', eventually, but do be prepared for that not to happen. She may, indeed, have grown out of this relationship. If that is the case, then you will be happier if you, too, move on. You would not be happy with a girl who was not totally committed to you and the relationship and who was always wondering about the wider world and other boys.

People cannot help changing. It is natural and normal at this stage in life.

Either way, I think that you will always be special to her ~ as she will be for you. Enjoy the memories and keep them positive.

Take care & good luck