RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up My BF doesnt want to talk to me need help

Really need help that my bf doesnt want to talk to me he dont even sending any message or call...
first we been from 2nd times breaking ups.. first when he hang up me and just dont want me to talk for some reason i dont know.. then i thought to move on till second time that we are talking but yet we are not bf and gf anymore that time we got an outing coz he and me are in the crowd, group of friendship so i dont expect any reconciliation between me and him we just talking like for friends that how i think.. though i still love him. but that time since we are in a group of friends we are about to go out of town and everyone is riding with motorbikes and im the one who is riding with him ( backride ) so an accident came trough in short we didnt continue going to the place where we have to go coz of an accident then im the one who is taking care of him in the hospital and so on.. the reconciliation isnt happened but maybe he realized that even though he did not make a good things for me im still taking care of him. but he became sweet again and consumed that me and him is "back" then after a few weeks it happens that we talk and i was thought like we just talking like voice out our likes and donts like an open forum between me and him. till the end of conversation we broked up.. the thing hurts me most that he asked me how come that we get back again. that sounds he wouldnt know.. so i decided to break him though i feel that he like it too..then i just moved on and trying to forget him ..after 3 months till he came in the crowd again... and he talked me that he relized all of his fault..in short we get back again.. and before that i told him that i dont know whats in his mind or plan for me or for us.. and even though i ate my pride that i said i will never ever come back with him ..and here i go again! i told him i will accept him coz i love him then promises happened again. at first and second months we became happy.. and thought its good that i saw a big improvement from him... now almost 3rd month aniversary of us..we went out of town with friends again, to that place he used to talk to me with sarcasm way. like im just doing a sweet things and talks to him.. he misinterpret it... i wonder why he is like that... he easy to get angry but i stay silent and cry without knowing him.. till a week ends im still trying to make up the relation to be strong..till he went to his company out of town 3 days.. after that and, i knew he got home the day after his outing i went to a friend's house that is nearby to him.. coz i really miss him so i tried to encouraged him to see me for just a few minutes.. its so hurting me i sent him sms he dont answer it and i tried to call him he off it and the second call he picked it up he just said " im tired.. its ok for tomorrow we can meet" he said that... then after that night i waited the whole day no bf call nor sms to read..untill now... then now two weeks after, feeling so depress and i talked to his friend and i got one bad news that an issue came .. my bf doesnt also replying to their sms and calls.. and a guy told me that my bf thinks that one of his friend is chatting with me in messenger.. a friend said my bf sounds like he is thinking that his friend and me were cheating but not i told them he just chat with me coz he dont have anyone to talk that time.. and he having problems about his gf... he vented his probs to me that my bf misinterpret it, now im trying to asked help to his friend .. its hard to be in situation like relationship that u trying to improve and to keep the relationship but how if the other one doesnt want to participate pls help me dont know what to do... i wanna talk to him atleast will have closure if he really dont like anymore... but im hoping to solve this probs i really love him but dont know what to do if he keeps making distance and escaping to this kind of probs.. what should i do... do i must break him up? pls send me advice thanks

Hello DarkAng3L & welcome

I am going to summarise your post as I think that it may make matters a little clearer.

Please let me know if I have misunderstood anything.

*

You need help because your boyfriend doesnt want to talk to you.

You have dated twice and broken up twice, and now he isn't speaking to you and you do not know why.

After your first break up, you went out in a crowd of friends and you rode on the back of his bike. There was an accident. He ended up in hospital and you helped to look after him. You were not expecting a reconciliation at the time, but you did love him and he 'became sweet again' so you drifted back together.

A few weeks later, you were discussing your thoughts on likes and dislikes etc, and, by the time you had finished talking, you had broken up again. You were hurt, because he said that he couldn't understand why the two of you had ever got back together. You felt that he should have known why, so you decided to break up with him. You felt that this was also what he wanted and that you would be better off moving on and trying to forget him .

Then, 3 months later, he was back with your crowd of friends again. He told you that the break-up was all his fault and you got back together, in spite of the fact that you had decided never to date him again. You told him that you were not sure of him or of his plans for your future. But you still loved him and, when he made you promises, you took him back. For two months you were happy together and you thought that he had changed for the better.

After dating for almost three months, you went out again with the crowd of friends. Then he started to speak to you sarcastically and to misunderstand your behaviour. He angers easily and you cry in silence. You hoped to make things work out for the two of you.

One weekend, he went away with his company, to work. The day after he returned, you (deliberately) visited a friend who lives near him. You hoped to see him and talk to him, if only for a few minutes. He didn't talk to you then and still has not talked to you, or texted you, or had any contact with you.

You have heard that your boyfriend thinks that you have been cheating on him with someone else, even though you have already explained that you have just been helping the other man with some problems.

You are finding it hard to even try to keep this relationship going, when he is not willing to participate in it, or talk about it. If it is over, you want, at least, to discuss the reasons, so that you can find closure.

But, really, you want to put everything right, because you love this man.
How can you do this if he keeps away from you and will not talk to you?
Is it inevitable that you must break up with him?

DarkAng3L, I'll just give you a few of my thoughts for now.

You keep dating this man and you keep breaking up with him.
This tells me that there is something between you that could be good and strong, but that there are also problems, which are not being dealt with.
If you are to stay together then these issues need to be discovered and addressed.

You mention him being sarcastic, and making you cry. Is he actually a good person?
Are you talking about arguments and disagreements, or could he be violent and abusive?
Is it true that he doesn't believe you, about simply helping out this other man?
This is something that you need to consider very seriously.

You ask about breaking up with him, but if he has had nothing to do with you for at least two weeks, after being sarcastic and unpleasant to you, then it sounds as if you already have broken up.

Do you want to pursue him?
You say you love him, but it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.
Have you got someonme to talk to and get support from ~ family or close friends ~ while you try to sort yourself out?

You have got back together before, so maybe you will again, but think about the pattern of this relationship and whether it is what you really want.

If you do, and he does, then I would suggest relationship counselling.

as far as i know my bf is a good man and he isnt a violent person too , about the issue that i got is last 2 days ago.

and this info is from his friend (1 friend)that he said about the guy (1 other friend) that doing chat with me that im just helping this guy cause he is having some prob to his gf.. my bf never told me about any probs he just always going to far from me its like he is escaping to the probs.what i see now is only "jealous"

and before he went to his company outing, we never see each other till now ,
the last thing we talk is when i went to our friends'house that is nearby to him (house) i phone him and the second call he answered me and he just said he is tired, and we can talk next day" so after that night the following day i waited from him but no call or any contact from him( this time dont know yet about the issue that i got from his friend).

now was 9 days that he dont talking me.. but 2 weeks we dont talk in personally.. i asked a help from a friend but all advices have been different , one said move on and forget him coz he did it not only once but 3rd time now to me.. the other one said go to their house and talk to him and to know the real score.. and that to settle what has to be. at least have closure if he really don't want anymore...

he said before he loves me and telling promises to me that i never asked.. and now he did broken up to me for 3rd time. i feel that he wanted to escape for some reason i don't know... i really love this person coz if not,i wont give him a chance to be back.

("1 friend "is the one my bf did talked to, that he vented out his feelings about me and "1 other friend" did chatting.) and that "1 friend" told me about it that was a almost a week that my bf never talk to me. i asked a help from him.

after all that he've done to me yet i still love him.. but what should i do if he doesnt want me to talk. atleast if he would talk to me, i would know the thing why he is angry
or what is all about ... the problem.

Hi again

DarkAng3L, it is possible, if people have said untrue things, or if he has misinterpreted things, that he believes that you have done something wrong.

If he is a decent person, and you love him, then I can only suggest that you write to him.

You could tell him that you do not understand why he is keeping away from you, that you have never betrayed him or been unfaithful, that you love him and that you cannot understand his behaviour, after the promises he made.

You could say that, if he wants the relationship to be over, then you will have to accept that, but that it isn't what you want, and that you would, at least, like to talk it over first, to see where things went wrong.

Something like that.

What do you think?
You seem to need explanations at the very least.

Good luck

It is very common for people to be jealous without reason, which is sad but something you have to learn to deal with. You cannot really convince someone you are trustworthy. You can only demonstrate it every day and they have to learn to believe in you. The key is always communication. Talk to him and find out what his concern is, and explain your solution.