RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating I accidentally gave my bf a hicky!

Please help me!!!! Ok so today was our anniversary and i was kissin my bfs nek and it left a hicky.It was a total accident and i didnt mean to. So then he went home and his mom saw and now shes SSSSOOOOO MAD!!!! Shes treateing to tell my Mom so i figure i tell my mom first...u kno...beat her to it so my moms less mad? We are fourteen and its not that big a deal now his mom dnt trust my mom and im scrd that she wnt ever let me c my bf again. I love him sooooooo much and it would tear me apart please help me!!!

I don't even know where to start with this. First, it was not an accident. This is one of the things his mom is mad about. So I would be very careful about claiming that you didn't mean to do it. Why does his mom now not trust your mom? Did they talk about this? You say that you are fourteen and this is not that big a deal. Well it is. If for no other reason than you would like to keep seeing your boyfriend and this made his mom mad. But the bigger reason that it has your boyfriend's mom upset is because this is an indication that the two of you are sexually active. If that is that the case then it is definitely her concern. You need to consider the position you put your boyfriend in by doing this. All of us do things that we think is cute or funny at the time and they turn around and backfire of us. It sounds like this is one of those times. I hope things work out with your boyfriend, you and his mom. You probably need to be apologetic toward his mom and not present the attitude of “it’s no big deal.”

Hello mattieygabiey & welcome

Yes, as BLR says, this isn't exactly 'accidental' is it?
More 'unintentional', perhaps?

Either way, you and your boyfriend both knew that this would upset his Mum, yet you went ahead and did it. He must have been as aware as you were, of what was happening. Is his mother angry with him, too?

You actually realise that this is 'a big deal'; otherwise you wouldn't be posting this as a problem.

And yes, BLR is right, his mother will probably be worried that you might be becoming sexually active ~ and unable to control your behaviour.

I agree that it is best if you tell your Mum yourself ~ but, if she doesn't now about this, why doesn't your boyfriend's Mum trust her? Is it because she is unhappy that you may have been brought up to behave in a manner that she finds unacceptable?

It seems that you have a lot of explaining, sorting out & apologising to do. You are both only 14, so you both need your parents' support. You need to appreciate this and to respect their wishes.

When you are older, you will understand their concerns.
Fourteen is very young; parents are bound to be worried I think.

I have to say that if I were a mother, I would be mad too. I don't think it was an accident either. I don't think there is a such thing as an accidental hicky. You have to put yourself in his mother's shoes. I know this is from experience. My boyfriend left a couple hickies on my neck. My father saw and had a talk with my boyfriend about it. He wasn't mean or anything. He was just concerned, because those hickies looked like I was someone I was not. In other words, I guess my dad didn't want me looking like someone who "got around."

14 is a very young age. You are going to go through quite a few boyfriends before you find the right one. Don't rush yourself and don't be so quick to give your heart and body away.

Also, parental support is a must. I don't think I would be comfortable dating a boy who my parents didn't approve of.

I think you should tell your mom about the hicky. Not to beat your boyfriend's mother to the punch, but because you want your mom to know. Parents like it when you talk to them about things. Trust me. It will make your relationship with your boyfriend better as well as your relationship with your parents.

Good luck!

~Jessica

I think some of you are forgetting what 14 is like - i don't think Mattie intended to make a mark on her boyfriend's neck. I remember (and i am 41) when I first started kissing and was very surprised how little effort it took to leave a neck mark. You don't have to be a vampire to make a hicky. And some people have very sensitive skin.

In any case the 'damage' is done and it seems that a few honest, level-headed talks with parents are in order, for sure. As long as the concerned adults can rest assured that the young couple will be careful, responsible, and take things slowly, i am positive it will all work out. Good luck Mattie!

Yes, this may be a good learning experience.

I don't see how you accidentally give someone an hickie. YOu know what you are doing when you give it and that if your boyfriend knew that he was going to get into trouble then he should have told you to stop. But thats just my say, i have never accidentally gave someone s hickie.

Lamf10, just because you haven't doesn't mean no one has. I have accidentally done it when young. When you are kissing someone's neck you don't have to use 'suction' to leave a mark. Sometimes it won't show up for hours.

Let's give this kid a break, huh?

Yeah i guess.

i mean he does bruise easily and i love him and it IS normal hello people get with the times! there are pleanty of other freshman in highschool who have done this unintentionally just like me. And we arent sexually active, just kissing, i am not the slutty type at ALL. It gross. and i did tell my mom and it turns out his mom has done it b4 2 she was just making us sweat but im not gonna do it again anytime soon. I didnt even mean to in the first place.
thanks for the support jilly