RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up Need help urgently - break up coming

I'm having trouble with the girl of my dreams,we have no problems in communicating at all but she wants to breakup with me 3 times already but i managed to convince her to stay,our problem lies with my mum which is over protective and before she even meet my gf she has prejudged her based on a 3rd party view.My mum has treathen to beat her up if we continue with this relationship and she's very scared and wants to breakup any advice ,please help!

Let her go.

no solution,just let her go? any other solutions?

Talk with your mom. If you really love this girl, then your mom should accept her. Why did she get a bad 3rd party opinion on your gf? and from who?

The only solution is to make your mom understand that you are responsible enough to choose your relationships and that she shouldn't worry. She has to let you be yourself. If you don't want to confront your mom about it then you should probably let her go. But I still think that if you let her go, you should talk to your mom, cause she needs to change that over protective attitude, at least until she gets to know who's your company. Then she can worry about it if she doesn't like it.

Welcome to the forum coolboz2009!

I think it would greatly help anyone wishing to give you advice if you shared with us more information. Your age would greatly help. Relationships can be complicated while you're still a minor, and I would hate to give you advice that wouldn't be well accepted by parents.

You shouldn't have to convince a lady to stay. If she is uncomfortable with your parental situation, you're only solution is to reconcile your girlfriend with your mother, or let her go. She should not have to feel threatened and actually afraid of your mother harming her.

Beat her up? I think I would let her go her own way. Things sound kind of out of control right now if your Mom is threatening to beat someone.

And why does your mom believe the 3rd party info over what you've told her? Is this information true? If the information is true, will you be harmed by having a relationship with this girl?

Try to see why your Mom is upset. Most parents want to protect their kids and look out for their best interests. If you can show your Mom with facts that this relationship is good for you, maybe she'll calm down.

I'm inclined to agree with many of skipperdog's points, although I do think that your mom is wrong to threaten to beat the girlfriend up -- good grief, is that really the court of last resort??

Maybe this girl really is bad news and so your mom is overreacting...?

thank you for welcoming me to the forum,I'm 29 years old ,considered very old,only son and i have a very protective mother and to make matters worst she listens to 3rd party which does not know the relationship i'm having is good and the girl is just a manager of and food and beverage outlet in some mall,i'm and engineer,to my mum she thinks we are worlds apart and because of that she looks down at the girl and she has not even seen or met the girl.

Hello coolboz2009

When I read your first posts, I wanted to know how old you were, too, because I assumed that you might be a minor. However, at 29, you are a mature adult. Unless you have some health problems, for example, which result in you needing parental help, then you should be sorting out your own life, not your mother.

I think we need to try to understand your mother's viewpoint ~ though I find it alarming.

I have two sons; aged 18 & 22 and I would be very concerned if either of them started dating someone really unpleasant or someone who could cause them problems. I would not encourage such a relationship and would explain my concerns ~ probably loudly & at length!!!

However, my sons are adults, so I would have to be very careful, as I do not have the right to interfere in their personal lives. I believe that I can & should respect them & their decisions. I certainly would not threaten to hurt any girlfriend they chose.

If your girlfriend is likely to cause you problems, for some reason known to your mother, then I can understand her being upset, but she should not ruin your relationship and she certainly shouldn't be threatening this girl.

Does your mother have any reason to fear for your health & happiness with this girl, that could have made her respond like this? Is she a violent person?

If she knows something about her that is causing this excessive reaction, then you need to sort it out.

However, your mother should not be threatening to hit her. In some places this is illegal. Where are you?

I am not surprised that your girlfriend wants to break up. Your mother is threatening her and you seem unable or unwilling to do anything about it.

My mother is over-protective too, but she wouldn't have threatened to hit my boyfriend. It's just not acceptable behaviour.

Can't you simply tell your mother that, at 29, you are old enough to make your own decisions and that she has absolutely no right to threaten your girlfriend, and you will not tolerate such behaviour?

When things settle down, maybe your mother could meet this girl ~ having promised to be welcoming & kind ~ so that you can prove to her how pleasant she is & why you care for her. A family rift is probably not something you would want.

If you can't sort things out, then you will have to let the girl go, for her own benefit. It's not fair on her otherwise.

Hi PDM, i apprieciate your feedback and views,this issue has happened to 2 of my previous relationships,as a result i'm quite reluctant to tell my mother that i have started with a new relationship lately as i only drop hints along the way,when she found out she became threatened,my dad passed a away a long time ago,i feel that she is insecure in all ways,i really wanted to tell but her but always when i do i gets very crazy,well seriously i have done what needs to be done ,seems whatever i do seems to hit a dead end for booth my mum and her,i truly like this girl as she is truthful and honest ,traits that are very hard to find these days.I have no health issues and i'm quite capable guy and i dunno why she's unable to see that.

Some of my friends seem to ask me to move out of the house,i agree but it seems very harsh and uncalled for,I'm trying a softer approach,my mum is a control freak most of the time and easily influence by 3rd party news without listening to my point of view 1st.