RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Does He/She Like Me? What to do when he's scare of the future?

Hey everyone,

So I keep thinking about this over and over, but I just can't seem to figure out what to do, and if anyone could offer any advice, I would be so grateful! Thank you so much :]

So I've been friends with this guy for about 3-4 years now and he's definately one of my closer guy friends. We're always helping each others out when the other one is in need. I actually have always had this little crush on him since I first met him but never thought much about it since he had a girlfriend back then and I had my share of boyfriends in the past too.

Then when he broke up with his girlfriend last year, we just became closer than before. We went to prom together last year and it was definately the most amazing night of my life. Then as time went on, before summer started, I told him that I liked him but I knew he just got out of a very bad relationship so I didn't expect an answer right away. (Really, it was a horrible break up and he and his ex doesn't talk anymore)He told me he was happy to hear me admit it but he wasn't sure if he's ready for a relationship yet.

Then I went off to California for the summer and when I came back, it was a little awkward at first but it didn't take long before we were close friends again. Then slowly, as the school year progress, I kept seeing signals from him. It seem as if he's trying to let me know he liked me. I mean he would always try to tickle me or touch my waist or hold my hand when we're together. Then one day my friend asked him what was going on because she can see that there is still something between us.

He told her that he's really confuse. Apparently, some days he would feel that he really really likes me but some days he's not sure of his feelings? Like I said, his last breakup was really bad and he doesn't talk to his ex anymore. He told my friend that he was really scare that would happen to us. He said that he almost would rather keep us where we are now, always more than just close friends, then if we were to give it a try and break up and never talk again. He said that he cared about me too much to ever let me walk out of his life.

I tried to confront him about this and tell him that I am sure of myself and no matter what happen, I'll never walk out of his life. We'll always be great friends forever. It just seems that no matter what I say, I still can't reassure him. I can see that he cares about me but I don't know what to do to convince him that we should be together. We're even going to the same college next year. I don't want it to be like this forever, for us to be always more than just friends but less than boyfriend/girlfriend.

I don't want to make him feel pressure into doing anything but I have no idea what else I can do. I mean we flirt, we're comfortable with each others, we like each others, but he's scare of his past repeating. What can I do to reassure him it won't?

I think you need to try to stay close with him but try to give him a little time to think about it and cope with the past relationship. Right now he is afraid to get hurt again and he needs to try to keep some normalcy in his life. Humans are naturally scared of getting hurt and it is even worse depending on your childhood or any events in your life. He needs to be completely sure that you will always be friends and the only way to do that is to keep doing as you are right now and eventually he won;t be as scared and he will take the chance in the relationship.

Hello and welcome azn_girl

I think that mma7402 makes some very good points.

This young man knows how you feel, and he obviously likes you, so maybe you should just give him a little more time, for him to feel comfortable with the way that things are developing.

It sounds promising, though, so I'm guessing that things might work out well for you.

Good luck!

Thanks for the advice everyone :] I really do appreciate it. I guess it's also human nature for me to be a little bit impatient with this right? -_^ I mean I really care about him, and I wouldn't want him to make any decision that he wasn't sure of but I really hope he makes up his mind soon. I guess what I'm personally scare of is that my feelings for him will just grow deeper and deeper each day but then it never works out. I don't want to be one of those girls blinded by these kind of things and end up waiting forever for that one guy and have it never working out.

I think that it's only natural to be scared of finding one's perfect partner, only to discover that the other person does not feel the same way.

The thing to remember is this; unless that other person feels the same way, s/he is not really & truly the perfect partner.

I can understand the worry about never finding Mr Right, but worrying about it does not help, and, actually, probably makes this worse.

But, after 3-4 years, I can understand you feeling a little impatient.
However, for him, it hasn't been that long, has it, because he had a girlfriend?

Yeah, you're right. I guess for him it has only been about a year or less that he started considering us together...