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Joined: Feb 2008
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Me and my girlfriend are questioning if what we have is love. We have only seen each other twice in the two months we have been dating.

Both times i haven't been myself in fear of doing something incredibly stupid and messing it all up.

She has only seen the real me the first time we met and she said that is who she fell in love with.

I want to be the person she fell in love with but i just get so shy around her now because i don't want to ruin what we have.

Can anybody please tell me how to know what love is.

Thanks alot,
BadLuck1674

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This will sound cliche, but I think it's true: love is when you are willing to expose the real you, and you will feel vulnerable but the "realness" of how you are with her will be more important than shyness, nervousness, or fear.

Some people believe in love at first sight, and maybe that's what your girlfriend meant, but in my opinion, two months is too early to know if it's love or just strong attraction. Would it be possible for you both to put the love question aside for awhile, and just try to enjoy each other's company? Sort of take it one day at a time?

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Only problem with taking it a day at a time is that we never get to see each other. we live 20 miles apart, which isnt that far, but i am only 15 and can not drive yet. I really have no clue as to what i should do. i sometimes feel as though we are just merely friends and not a couple, which does make me feel sad. I am just very confused as to what i should do.

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I agree with the above advice.


when you wish upon a star,you pray you wish comes true.
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Well, would it be terrible to just be friends for a year or so? I think I know what you mean about not feeling like a couple and therefore feeling sad, but there's nothing wrong with taking a relationship slowly, rather than rushing into "coupleness."

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Well Badluck I'm certainly no expert but I'll give it a shot.First of all I believe that the best relationships usually do start as friendship.Because if you don't like someone enough to be a friend then any more of a relationship definitely won't work.And secondly it's important to be yourself because if a person doesn't like you for how you truly are then I say to heck with them.You definitely can't build any kind of relationship -boyfriend/girlfriend or even just friendship if you have to do it by pretending to be someone you're not.From what you said she likes the person you were when she first met you and you said that was the "real" you.So BE YOURSELF!!!Open up the REAL you, don't be shy and don't try to be someone you're not. Give yourselves time to get to know each other even if you just get to talk on phone or instant messenger if you can't actually "see" each other often.I take it you go to different schools? If so, Bummer huh? Do your parents know about this girl? If so how do they feel about it? Maybe they can give you ride to see her..meet at mall or movies..pick her up and bring her over to your house (or hers) just to hang out.I think it's a little to soon to know whether you really "love" this girl or not. You need to talk, hangout BE YOURSELF and just have fun goofin off together for a while. Afterall you said yourself you haven't really had much time together so who knows..maybe once you reeaaly get to know eachother you might find out that you don't even like her.Especially if she hasn't been being herself either? Good luck and let us know how things are goin smile Keep Smilin!




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I mean this in the upmost respect but you are too young to be dating. At your age, you should be friends w/ girls,not trying to fall in love. Why don't you just be friends w/ her for a couple of yrs, then after that time you'll either still feel attracted to her or you'll have moved on. As you mature w/ age, you'll feel more comforatable w/ yourself and so will the girls you are dating. For a relationship to work well, both parties should have "found" themselves otherwise it makes for a broken relationship b/c one person is having to rely on the other emotionally and that makes for a very trying relationship. When you do start dating, try group dating, as in lots of males and females. Its kind of like doubling but w/ more ppl. W/ groups you can go to a social activity like bowling, skating, concerts, whatever everyone enjoys. You'll parents will feel better about it too. smile

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BadLuck1674
Whatever you have sounds good.
Maybe it's love, maybe it's affection, maybe it's an extra-special friendship.

Why do the actual words matter?
As Shakespeare said, 'A rose by any other name would smell as sweet'.

Just be happy with the closeness and happiness that you have found and let the rest take care of itself.
It's yours and it's special ~ why feel sad?

Relax and be yourself.
If it's good, you won't spoil it.

Don't underestimate friendship. Friendship is one of the most important factors in any relationship.

You feel confused because you are a teenager ~ that's just the way it is. It can be a fantastic time, but it has its ups and downs.

I do tend to agree with most of what the others have said, too.

Try not to worry and try not to let relationships get you stressed. You are very young, but I know that young love can be very emotional and feelings can become very strong.

Don't worry!


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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Thank you all this advice has helped alot. we are still a couple but taking it very slow. we are getting more comfortable talking now so hopefully the next time i see her i won't be so shy.

Thanks again,
Badluck1674

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Good!

Perhaps now you can change your name to 'Goodluck'. smile smile

I find that positive behaviour tends to lead to more positive outcomes.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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