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#239508 12/31/07 06:46 PM
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Well here is the deal. This girl moved to my town in middle school. I didn't know her so well and when we got into high school she had a crush on me. I didn't really know if I liked her and I wasn't ready for a girlfriend although she was really cute and altogether a good person. I was in this class with two of my best friends and we talked about her occasionally and then my best friends started liking her and I thought I could kill two birds with one stone and hook up my friend and get her to stop liking me. Boy was I wrong. I totally screwed myself over. To make a long story short she never liked him and he was infatuated with her. I began seriously liking her several months later but my friend kept asking her out and she *kind of* lead him on... they were voted on some type of dance court together and such.

Well over the summer I let it die down a little but I was adamant about asking her out during the year to the Homecoming dance which was a month into the school year. Guess what, this other guy asked her on a date a couple of days before I was going to ask her and right away they started dating.

This wouldn't have been a problem if I could just let it go but if you understood how great she is you would definitely realize I made a big mistake.

The thing is... I think she still likes me. I know it actually I can tell, she flirts with me all the time and some of the time I don't even initiate it. I don't know what to do, I like her so much. I don't want to hurt her boyfriend because he is a nice guy: not the greatest boyfriend but a nice guy in general. He knows that I flirt with her and that she flirts back and he gets really jealous but I don't understand.... if he is dating her why should he worry.

That's not the point: the point is I have no idea what to do and everyone tells me to get over her but she is not that kind of person that I can just get over... she is incredible.

Any advice would be much appreciated: should I make my feelings clear or should I wait until he is out of the picture?

Thanks,
screwedinwisconsin

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He knows that I flirt with her and that she flirts back and he gets really jealous but I don't understand.... if he is dating her why should he worry.
he gets jealous cause he knows she likes you and he could lose her, but i wouldnt forget her, i would make a move, how long have they been dating?


i loOve bRoDiE nIkKeN!
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I disagree. She is dating one of your good friends. You need to have more integrity. Don't flirt with her because she is off limits if she is with your friend. Of course he has a reason to be worried... you are flirting with his girlfriend. People cheat and he's probably worried that she will. Forget her because your friendship is probably more important. She is putting herself in a bad situation by having a boyfriend and flirting with one of his good friends. This can only end badly if you make a move.


Never forget:
Leaf - 11/5/07
Louie - 1/25/08
Bill - 4/16/08
Papeete - 4/21/08
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well if she flirting with him and her dude knows, just tells me


i loOve bRoDiE nIkKeN!
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young girls and guys for that matter are fickle! they can have really intense feelings for someone, and feelings can change quickly. I agree with five keets...do not pursue her unless she and her current boyfriend break up. If you would stop flirting with her, she may feel she is loosing your affection and this may expedite things if she really does care for you. Girls like a challenge, and if you are that easy to get, it may not be all that exciting for her. If she thinks she has lost her chance with you, but she really likes you, she might dump the other guy and you won't be the bad guy here.


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Well he is not my good friend he is just an friend but the point is I would feel bad because he is a nice guy. I try to avoid him because of this whole situation to be honest.

I would try to play hard to get if that is what you are suggesting OC MOMMY but it is practically impossible because I can't stay away from her for more than a few days she is just that great. I'm sorry it's hard to explain but I really do appreciate all your advice!

Thanks everyone: if you have any other thoughts please respond!

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They have been dating since September of this year.

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Its really all about controlling your feelings. Assuming all your flirting worked, and she broke up with the guy and went out with you, would you really feel secure that she would not turn and do the same to you?


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don't feel bad if he is just a nice guy. She may be with him just to be with somebody. If it was your brother or best friend that would be another thing, but i think you should tell her how you feel.

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Of course these are opinions and we are free to disagree between one another, but good friend or just a friend it wouldn't matter. By putting myself in your shoes, if there were a guy I liked and he flirted with me, but was dating a friend of mine... I wouldn't make a move. First off... if I did it I can only imagine the names I'd be called. Secondly, I would lose a friend and third, nothing says a relationship with him would be a guarantee.


Never forget:
Leaf - 11/5/07
Louie - 1/25/08
Bill - 4/16/08
Papeete - 4/21/08
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