Right, I think that's part of it.
I'm sure some boyfriends would have had the dishwasher and washing machine fixed in a few days, they would have loved working on it. Bob loves taking them apart - and then they sit in pieces for a year
So even though on Bob knows I really want these things fixed, he just never does it.
So at least Dan does it, with complaints
Bob never gets to the doing it stage on a category of tasks.
I think the lesson is that for certain categories of tasks we have to find other people who are happy to do them. It just doesn't work to drive a person to do something they're against doing. Just like we probably resist when they ask us to do things we're against doing. Like Bob wants to move to Arizona
And I refuse.