My house is untidy, too, and everything falls out of my tupperware cupboard!
I think that it can be very hard, having two sets of adults in one house. It's something I said I would never do, but if the time comes when my Mum needs me to take care of her, well .. maybe I'll have to change my mind ~ but i know that it will be difficult.
Parents are used to being the 'adults' ~ in charge; in control, telling their 'children' what to do. The thing is, when parents become quite old, and needy, there is a kind of role-reversal, with the children taking on the role of the parents. Naturally, they no longer want to be treated like children, but the parents don't see that ~ and the parents don't want to acknowledge that they are old & needy, or that they can't do things, etc, etc. It is a difficult situation all round. They may well feel frightened of ill-health & old age ~ and angry at being an 'inconvenience'.
The thing is, as people get older, they are less inclined to change their ways or their attitudes. Perhaps you could just vent to them, as you have to us, and they may at least try a bit harder ~ or maybe they'd just feel offended.
Good luck!
