I honestly didn't think that it would hurt this bad

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
The guy I was dating for over a year just broke up with me a little over a week ago. I did the usual stupid thing of calling him up and leaving voicemails begging for him to talk to me. Now he will talk to me and what he basically says is that he wants to be single right now and that he still has feelings for me and loves me.

He also said something about I guess the level that we were at, with it being so intense. Personally, I think that he is just getting scared to be in a relationship with me that for a long time because I think that hes scared of it ending years down the road. (His parents are currently going through a divorce) I think that has a lot to do with what he is doing to me right now. I'm 19 and he's 22 and I know that he is thinking about that "final committment" and I think that is just what scared him.

Do you think that might be it? I recently talked to him and told him that I want to remain friends and hang out every once in a while... Is that a good idea? I thought maybe by us seeing eachother every now and then it will make him see the goodness that we were, and the possibilites of us in a long-lasting relationship.

I just need some advice, he was a major part in my life, my best friend, and I don't want to lose that. I have never hurt so bad before, and I honestly didnt think that it would hurt this bad. He also used the fact that I don't have a job yet (I am also a college student) but I have had medical problems the whole time that make it difficult. Past year I have had severe anxiety/panic, pnemonia, mono, bronchitis, severe stomach problems with throwing up... but he calls all of that excuses.

I just want an outsiders opinion on what I should do. I love him so much.. and I really think that he still loves me.

RomanceClass.com Advice
Your analysis of the situation is very good.

Do try to be his best friend and hang out from time to time.

He has mixed emotions, so it is possible that he will be back with you once he sorts them out. It's too bad that his parents are divorcing because, as you said, that is affecting him and your relationship.

Work on the idea of talking and hanging out and see where that leads.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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