It will pay off when she is in need and wants to be with a guy she can talk to and trust.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Me and my ex girlfriend have been apart for about four months now. She has a boyfriend, but me and her get along well. She doesn't hesistate to come up and talk and joke around with me on the days we work together, and we even talk online once or twice a week. She really likes this new guy she is with, and it doesn't seem like it will be ending between them anytime soon.

I guess my question is this.....Is it smart for me to be talking to my ex girlfriend as much as I am? I mean, what if we get really close as friends and things end between her and this new guy.....wouldn't she probably just look at me as a friend at that point because of how much we talk, and therefore probably wouldn't want to take a chance at getting back with me?

Finally, if things do end between her and this guy and she doesn't bring up getting back with me, how long should I wait before I suggest we hang out or maybe go on a date and see how it goes? I know of course not to make her feel pressured, but make it seem more like a friendly suggestion. I just don't want to be doomed for heading down friendship road. We were together for 1 1/2 years before, and we were really in love at one point, so I don't know if the feelings for me will likely come back if I stay in frequent touch with her now.

What do you think I should do here? I'm so confused. Most ex's dont talk for a while but she's being so comfortable talking to me, and I think a lot of it has to do with her having a boyfriend so she doesn't feel anything for me at the moment. I don't know what it will be like when she's single again, but I hope by talking to her a lot now it will pay off when she is in need and wants to be with a guy she can talk to and trust. Advice
You are definitely on the right track with her.

Yes, you should keep close contact with her as a friend so that if/when she breaks up with this guy you will be close at hand.

You can't predict how soon you should move closer to her. Just read her feelings and you should get a good idea. Meanwhile ask her out on "friend" dates which may turn into more than friends. (This is after she breaks up, I mean).

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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