They say that love means to trust

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I have this boyfriend who i've been going out for almost 3 months. Here's the issue, I'm the kind of girl who would NEVER give any guy the time of day if they smoke. "Evan"(bf) knew it long before we started dating. Now that we're dating, he called me up one night and told me that he smokes pot. He told me that after two months of our relationship. He told me that he smoked on our entire relationship and also before we dated as well. He was even like before he told me that "erica", please don't dump me when i tell you this." Of course i was shocked and i felt like i needed (not wanted) to dump him right then but, i felt like i have to give him credit for telling me...right?

But since he told me right b4 winter break...and is in arizona right now and wont be back til school starts, i've been pondering all break. Some of my friends told me to give him a chance for a month for him to quit and if not, it's over. Others say to just dump him after break cuz he lied to me. And some say that they're 100% sure that he will quit for me anyways, i just have to give him a chance.

Evan told me that he was only doing pot for social reasons and only does it when he's with his friends. But he never does it around me...ever. I simply told him b4 he left for arizona that "baby, i love you but i'm so hurt in knowing that u do these things and i just don't want to be in a relationship with someone who does that." Evan was silent.

I've been pondering a lot and i'm wondering of what you think of this situation. Should i breakup with him right after he comes back? Or should i wait for a month and give him a chance to quit?

They say that love means to trust...but somehow, i have my doubts about evan quitting. Also, i feel...sad. I really like him and i know for a fact that he's liked me ever since the first day we met which was 6 months b4 we dated and even tho i was dating other guys at that time, he didnt' date or looked at any girls at all in hopes that i will someday look his way. That's why some of my friends who are also friends with him say that he LOVES me and will quit for me and that pot is not hard to quit and not addicting. Yet, i know i deserve better cuz i know i'm stronger than this yet...i'm sad. what are your advices?

Thank you for your time. I will await your reply. Advice
He told you himself which is a point in his favor.

But, on the other hand, he didn't offer to quit to get you back.

You have really indicated how much you love him now. That should be the deciding factor. If you really love him, give him a chance to change.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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