I need some advice on how to express myself emotionally

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My Ex-Girlfriend and I were very much in love & together for 3.5 years, and then we both had depression, and we couldn't live the way we were, and so she left me - hoping that I would get some help.

We then got back together about 18 months later - for 6 months, and during that time I had trust issues, was scared that she would leave me again, etc - and because of that I was very careful with my emtoions, and tried not to get too emotionally involved, and this lead to me breaking up with her.

This occured about 2 months ago, and we talked recently, and things were fantastic, and I seem to be ready to trust her, but she is depressed again since I left her, and she is having similar emotional issues that I had while we were together.

My biggest problem is that when I see her, I am very attracted to her, and I always seem to be tryng to get her into bed. This is pushing her away, because she needs me to prove that I care about her (she knows that I do, but I am too physically involved, and not spending enough time sharing emotions - simialr to how we were when we were together).

Could you please give me some tips on how to supress sexual urges & how to bring back some emotional stability between us, and how to express my emotions.

I am a very caring, senstive guy, and it scares me that the only way I feel that I can show her how I feel about her is to have sex with her (we both really enjoy it).

Now because of the sex issues, we are back to being just friends, because she is scared of reverting back to how we were - and I need some advice on how to express myself emotionally, and how to develop our bond the way it was before our depression.

I am 25, she is nearly 21.

RomanceClass.com Advice
To learn to express you emotions better takes practice.

Take advantage of your friendship to practice doing this. Start off some sentences with "I feel..." and then tell her what you feel. Hopefully you will have some significant feelings such as "I feel that I am overly attracted to you sexually and that it is causing us to draw apart."

Think hard about this because it may make the difference.

Best wishes! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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