Should I just move on after I get complete closure from my ex?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Is she worth my time?

I moved 2500 miles to be with my ex. She and I talked for months and I even came out to visit her for a week, prior to my move. It's almost been 9 months since we broke up. However after the break up we remained friends. We would talk, she would have me over for dinner, we'd go to different events together, ect. We had remained very good friends. Well about three months after we broke up when I was visiting her one night, things got physical. She invited me into her bedroom and we eventually had sex. Prior to ever having sex she told me that all she wanted was "friends with benifits". So I figured yeah i hadn't had any physical closeness since we broke up so maybe it would be nice. So I went along with it. Well she started calling me up and having me over for dinner and spending lots of time with me. We would only have sex occasionally (once a month). The sex part was strictly brought on by her and ALL phsycial connection between us was only during sex. Afterwards she didn't have anything to do with me. No kissing or anything sexual. I got so use to going over there and spending time with her that it was a regular thing. In fact, her best friend told her she should just get back together with me. Since that happend, whenever I would go over to her appartment their would always be other people there and I would feel very left out. I approached her about it finally and she told me that she could still tell that I had feelings for her and that she dind't want to mislead me. Yet she was the one who called me and had me come over for dinner. I had a very hard time with this right after it happened. I still have feelings for her and would like to remain friends. I have a new girlfriend whom I am not real close to but enjoy spending time with. I am having a hard time dealing with my feelings towards my ex with my current girlfriend.

My ex thinks I should be her friend yet she wants to cut all personal ties. She also thinks that it is to our best interest to not talk to each other but to just say hi, right now. Yet she tells me she misses me.

What makes things tougher is that my best friend is her best friends husband and my other close friend is her sisters husband...

Our original break up was due to her feelings for her daughters father along with having to deal with personal family issues. She has done nothing to get closure to either. She did mention that I bring out the controlling side of her and that she thinks that I am some what controlling towards her. I think I'm quite the opposite.

Should I just move on after I get complete closure from my ex?

Do exs ever come back after time passes?

Thanks for the advice! Advice
You have a girlfriend.

It's time to set yourself free from your ex who has proven to be a lot of trouble. Get the closure you need and move on.

You will much better after you do it! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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