In my view, losing a good friend is just as hard as losing love

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have a friend/coworker that I've known for about 3 years. There was a lot of chemistry as soon as we met and although we never officially "dated", we did become romantically involved on and off for about a year.

After about a year, I stopped the romantic part because I thought I was too old for her. I told her this. She was hurt and angry because she thought I was using her for sex, but that wasn't true. And I made a real effort to show her that by trying to be a good friend.

She seemed to get over it and over the past year or so, we became really good friends, or so I thought. In the past 3 months she has suddenly stopped wanting to spend time with me. When I've asked her about it, she says it's just because she's gotten so busy. I've backed off, but it's clear it's not just because she's been so busy.

The most frustrating part of all this is that she says nothing has changed in terms of our friendship, but her actions simply do not match her words. She's avoiding me. And I don't know what changed or why!

In my view, losing a good friend is just as hard as losing love. So help! Advice
You may have already done this.

Call her and ask her if you could come over for a drink... or you could bring pizza and beer or whatever. If she doesn't agree ask her again as an old friend why she has been avoiding you. Tell her that a friendship is very important to you and you feel like you are losing a good friend.

If that doesn't work, wait another 10 days and call her and ask her to go out for a "Holiday drink." Maybe she will go for that.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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