Do I get back with him or not- will he get on like that evil person before I left or not?

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
i am 19 and my ex is 22.I was going with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years when i decided to go to turkey for my work experience. i wasnt leaving for another 5 months but over that time arguments got worse and worse then i found out that there was couple of girls fancied him and texting him and he was "innocently" texting back.Then about a week before leaving my me my boyfriend and all our friends went out for a leaving party and it was ruined because the 1 thing i asked him not to do was take any drugs because i wanted him to be nice and remember the whiole night - but when i arrived he had taken drugs and tried to deny it so i finished it there and then because i was so hurt that on my last weekend out he could do this. Then we argued all night and finally he swore on his mothers life that he met these previous 2 girls tht fancied him. i was gutted but didnt lower myself to his level of arguing.

Then leading up to the last days of my going away he begged my to take him back but irefused because it would drive me mad being paranoid about him being with other girls when i was away. he said he lied about those girls yet i found a text on his phone from here fully flirting. So then i gave him an ultimatum to change my mind and reassure me that i could trust him when im away because i no he really loves me and i love him but i wasnt sure whether he said those things just to hurt me and why?

So on the day of me leaving and me asking him everyday to please change my mind and reassure me before i go - to me it seemed like he didnt try one thing.yes he apologised-said he loved me but that still didnt get the thoughts of him maybe going behind my back with these girls.So we didnt end up getting back together. We talked all the time when i was away and i met few boys he met few girls and we were just friends yet we still really loved each other.
then 7 months later when i came home he told me he still wants to get back with me but i still feel betrayed yet i still want to get back with him but i know it would drive me mad being paranoid about maybe he would gowith these girls as i found out that he has still been innocently texting the same one but i know they are flirty messages-yet he says i am the only one for him. so i decided to stay freinds and see if we could do that as we are so close.then i met another boy one night and my ex found out and threatened to kill him etc. then the next day he apologised.that was two days ago and now i am put of this new guy and i dont know why.then about an hour ago my ex came clean and said he met a girl the same night as me and says he was out of order for freaking. but this hurt me so bad coming from him that he was meeting another girl and i dont understand why as i know were not together and i am confused about my emotions - do i get back with him or not- will he get on like that evil person before i left or not? i dont know wot to do move on and know that i f he gets another girl it will kill me or go back to him? Advice
You and he need to talk.

It's a madcap relationship you've been having. And it's sad because you had such a good romance for so long before this happened.

If you have a long, deep, loving, trusting, and honest talk... or many talks... there is a good chance you can work this out together. If you let it slide the way it has been then the chances are diminished.

Take a look at these webpages which may help:

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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