even though it did not lead to adultery in the physical sense, the love was rekindled even stronger
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I met my ex about six years ago when we were both in high school. It was love at first sight. We dated for four years and were forced to break up in a romeo and julietesq drama story a few months before I turned 18. We had planned on waiting it out and then getting married the day I turned 18, but during that time I sought the comfort of another and ended up getting married in a spur of the moment ceremony the month before my birthday. After a couple of months when the lust for this new person began to wear off, I realized I had made the biggest mistake of my life. By this time though I was pregnant and I refused to break up my family. I finally broke down and called my ex almost a year later because I felt he deserved an explination. This phone call lead to meeting and even though it did not lead to adultery in the physical sense, the love was rekindled even stronger. But then I found out I was pregnant again by my husband so came clean to my husband and I pushed my ex away to keep from hurting anyone else. But I still think about him everyday. So I called him the other day and he said that he still and would always love me but he could never walk the path of "us" again. But since then I have got an email from him almost every day and he says he misses me and loves me and that he wants to meet my kids. My husband is like my best friend and this would destroy him and our marriage if he knew I had done this again. I don't know what to do. Should I pursue my ex's and my true undying passionate love? Or remain married to someone who I do care deeply about even if we don't love each other and raise a "tradiational" family?
This is a very important question you are asking.
Should you go with the one you love or stay in an unloving relationship and family?
I certainly can't answer it for you and you've probably already thought about the things I would suggest. But here are some just in case:
* Who would you want to be with 10 or 20 years from now?
* How will this affect your children?
* How will this affect you financially?
* Would you get custody of your kids... or do you want custody?
* Can you handle dealing with your ex-husband for 20 more years as you share the children?
* How will the extended families feel about this?
* How much pleasure do you get out of having a traditional family?
* Could you grow to love your husband and he you?
* Could you fall out of love with your ex-boyfriend?
* Will you want kids with your ex-b/f, and will he?
* Will you be able to handle the guilt you are going to feel?
Think about these to help you make up your mind.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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