she felt like our whole relationship was based on a lie

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
My girlfriend and I had been going out for over a year. We couldnt be seperated. We accepted everything each other was and everything we werent. She has always had issues of self-distortion. Every day she would tell me of how she always looked ugly and this and that and i would always tell her the same thing, that she is beautiful and she really is. She has been seeing a counselor for her problem with her image of herself and now her counselor told her that i control her in certain ways. She tells me i control her in every way but i do not think that is what her counselor intended to say. She sometimes takes things other people say to the extreme and that has part to do with her image distortion. I know, after her saying those things to me, that, yes, i did control her in some ways, but not to the extreme she is seeing. We got in a few fights because of everything with the control. She said she wanted to be back together but needed time to think. One night i went over her house and we went for a walk, and it felt like we were going to get back together, so i felt i had to tell her somethin i had told pretty much no one. I had not graduated high school. I am 19 years old, and since that day about a month ago, she has been nothing but a mean mean mean person to me. I had explained to her my reasons for not graduating and why i didnt tell her. I really didnt tell her at first because i didnt think she would date me, and then i couldnt tell her after because she always told me how smart i was that i always helped her with her college homework. I felt like i was letting her down if i told her. When i finally told her, she instantly changed directions and all she told me she felt like our whole relationship was based on a lie. It felt like she didnt want to hear a word i had to say and it still feels like that right now. I try to talk to her about everything and she always starts yelling at me and it breaks into a fight. Lately ive just been taking it and not fighting back and she still yells at me for everything. She says she loves me and she always will but she doesnt want to get back together right now. She said she wants to be alone and she doesnt know for how long. It feels like we may never get back together. I love her sooooooo much and i cant stand life without her. I am deeply sorry for what i did wrong by not telling her. It almost feels like shes making up excuses now to not wanna be together and it hurts. It feels as if She doesnt even want to give me a chance to prove myself to her. I feel as if she still loves me but at the same time i dont know what to feel because she doesnt want to be together. I feel as if she really loved me as she says, it wouldnt matter what happened and she would want to get back together because i know i would forgive her for anything, and i mean anything. I love her soooo much its unbelievable. I want to know what i need to do to get her back into my life because i miss her more than anyyyyything. Advice
Go back to school or get a G.E.D.

This will convince her of your serious intentions.

You may be right that she is just using this as an excuse, but advancing your education will not only do you good, but could turn her around.

Call your high school and see what they recommend.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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