We actually lived together for one year and had the best relationship ever.

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have been dating someone off and on for the last five years. We actually lived together for one year and had the best relationship ever. We both agreed that I would move back to my hometown for a good job opportunity and that I would only stay there for a year and move back. Well, that never happened. So, we started a long distance relationship, saw each other every couple of months and talked every day. During this time, I met someone else who put me on a complete rollercoaster ride, and he also met someone else who actually did the same. However, we never told each other what we were doing. We found out about each others affairs. This I thought would tear us appart but, it didnt. We vowed that we would keep the past in the past and would move on with one another to make things work. Well during this time, we decided that honestly would be the best policy, so when I was asked if I was in love with the person I dealt with, the answer was yes. I mean, he was here with me and we spent alot of time together and I developed strong feelings for him. I told my boyfriend that that part of my life was over and we were moving on. He also told me that he was in love with the woman he dated also but that he had moved on as well. Now because I was so honest, he is having second thoughts about our relationship. He says that we never gave ourselves time to heal from all of the drama we experienced. I am totally confused and am not sure how to handle all of this. He says he needs space and time but that he still wants me. I have no clue what to do. Should I move on and stop wasting time? Or give him the time he needs with the hopes that we will be able to restore the relationship. I guess honesty is sometimes not the best policy. My feelings for the other person are over and I really want to make my relationhsip work because it was really good and I know that it can be good again. Do you have any advice for me?

RomanceClass.com Advice
Give him his space and time.

But contact him once a week or two just to check in and see how he is doing. Make sure (you probably have) that he knows you still love him. Other than that don't talk about relationships unless you have to (e.g. he initiates the cconversation.) Don't talk a long time or he will think you are pressuring him.

This loose connecting relationship is what he needs and you will get some benefit out of it too.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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