it would be a terrible thing if we did get back together

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago from a 9 month relationship. He was my first boyfriend and I was his first girlfriend. The reason that it didn't work was that I was way to dependent on him and it stressed him out. Also, he's 20 and wanted to date other girls. About three days ago, he told me that he still found me attractive and for the past week thought about me, kissing me, having sex with me. He couldn't get me out of his head. We spend two hours in my car talking and laughing, which was nice cause that hasn't happened since we broke up. However, he really wanted to kiss me and we almost did. The only thing separating us was my hand on his lips so my lips wouldn't touch his. And all day today, we spend it flirting with each other. He hugged me after i cried, poked my stomach, and tried to kiss me just to be funny cause he knew I would stop him. He is still attracted to me. He told me so. I'm still attracted to him. I told him so. But we both agreed that we can't be together because if we did get together we would be happy for a month or 2 and then we will be back with the same problems. Now that he is flirting with me and I'm flirting with him, I'm starting to feel like I did when I started flirting with him in the beginning. But we can't get back together. It would lead to pain again. But now I'm starting to feel like I'm back in the relationship, even though I know that we are not. Why is this happening? Why are we doing the whole friendly flirting with each when we know that it will never happen? I'm enjoying it. I haven't been this happy since we broke up but I'm worried that now I have false hopes in my heart. I still believe that he will come back. This is only making it bigger, but I'm happy, but is it ok? Will I or he be able to move on if we continue to do this? Is this normal? I really want to be friends with him, but it really looks like he wants me back but i know for a fact that he doesn't right now and it would be a terrible thing if we did get back together. Advice
You have made a decision that "it would be a terrible thing if we did get back together."

You should put aside the adventurous and lustful feelings that you have and go with your gut reaction. You know best what is good for you in the long run so do just that.

Try to put a stop to the flirting and get your relationship back on steady ground. The other choice is to give him another choice which you know would not be good for you.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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