she yelled back and I proceeded to say i was going to kill myself
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
OK, so I've just spent a few hours reading through stuff here, and feel my situation is unique enough for an email.
I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 years and 1 month. I am 2.5 years older than her and we started dating just before she became a sophomore and i a senior in high school. Now I am a junior in college and she is a frosh. We are just under 5 hours away. Well, since we've been at school this year, things have been rough. We've both been extremely busy and we've just been getting into pointless arguements. With all thats been going on we had palnned that next friday (sept. 30) would be the first time we'd see eachother and from then on out we'd try and see eachother every-other-weekend or every-third. Our issues over the phone were mostly about how she has already started to take our relationship less serious, and she agreed that this was true finally a week ago. So things were fine for the past week, until thrsday evening i called her (drunk as hell) and acted all sentimental... then i read an email from her that i didnt see before (while we were on the phone) and i went off on her because of it. This is probably the 5th time out of probably 100 drunk phone calls where i wasn't myself and really yelled at her and made her feel bad. Then I guess (because I honeslty dont remember any of this- this is what she told me) she yelled back and I proceeded to say i was going to kill myself. Now in all honesty, I dont recall this and I am not a depressed person, nor would I ever take my life. I am a Christian and would never do that. So then she got all scared and started crying and said she was going to call my mom... and it was a mess. And its horrible because i dont even recall any of this.
SO, I get a call from her in the morning and she starts crying and explained to me what happened and said she doesnt want to be with me anymore. We had always talked and said if we ever break up, it must be in person. So I told her, if you want to break up, I'm coming to see you. She said she didnt want me to come and see her this weekend since it was U-Minnesota's homecoming and she wanted to be at the game and stuff. so i said the only other option then is to stay together and discuss things next weekend when she had planned on coming here to see a concert. We both agreed on this options and we're skipping the concert (which is of my faviorite band) and we're going to talk about our relationship. She says she's going to see if she feels the same way about me when we see eachother and then make her decision. The thing is however, that she says on the phone contantly now that she really just wants to be alone. I see where she is coming from, however I am upset because of a couple things. This would not be happening if I hadn't been drunk on thursday night and called here and also we havent even had the chance to see eachother yet. I have been telling her that i am sorry and that i understand now that our relationship is not as good as i thought it was, but i feel that since we havent had a chance to see how our relationship is going to work while we're at different schools that i would prefer to wait and see what it is like to visit eachother, beause as of now we have just been talking on the phone every night.
Thats where we're at. I think I have made some progress with her on the phone, but I would like some advise on what to do to get ready for when she comes to visit me to make her want to stay with me... and advise on what to do from now on if she does want to stay with me and what to do if she wants to take a break.
I've always been the sentimental one as well if that matters. Thanks!
You have a drinking problem.
First thing to convince her is that you are going to cut way back on your drinking.
This might solve most of your problems.
She may want to take a break to see if you will keep your promise.
It's in your hands!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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