i don't know what changed this sudden shift in feelings
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
hi, i dated this guy for four months. When we started out i told him flad out that i'm looking for a serious relationship and he also agreed that he's looking for the same thing. we entered the relationship very fast, meaning we dated for mabe a month and then we spend every weekend together very exclusively for the rest of the relationship. the parental involvment from both sides was high, i knew all of his family and he knew all of mine. although he wanted the relationship he mentioned a few times that we're moving too fast and we need to slow down. We did for a little while but then we went back to spending more and more time together. I am hard of hearing and he knew that from day one and he didn't seem to have a problem with it. After four months he came up to me telling me that his financial situation and the way he's reacting to his life events doesn't give him the confident to see himself in a serious relationship anymore and he also mentioned that he can not get over my disability (i function as a hearing person, i hear and talk normally). after talking about this, he said that he wants to work things out and see if he can get over my disability. He has issues with depression and low self esteem (he's seeing a therapist) after a month, he said that he doen't want to be with me all the time because he doesn't know why he can't appreciate me for all that i am and be happy and secure with it and he can't feel towards me what he felt before. i don't know what changed this sudden shift in feelings and i'm having a hard time understanding why he can appreciate me and be happy with it, what's going on?
Four months isn't really long enough to get to know one another as an intimate couple. You were still getting to understand each other during this time.
Given that he is depressive and has low self-esteem, his feelings are subject to change. That may be the reason why he has made the move he did.
His financial situation may have really caused him great grief. Depressive people often react very negatively to financial problems.
Ask him to repeat his reasons for breaking up. Sometimes repeating the reasons might emphasize or change the reasons and give you more insight into his mind.
You might also wonder whether you want to stay with this guy, he does not seem very reliable!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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