She broke up with me, I want her back

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
ok here it is...I am 19 years old and I have been going out with this girl for almost two years now, she is 17 years old. Everything was going great, our relationship was perfect, minus the small fights that a normal couple would get into.

All of a sudden she decided to call it off and break up with me. She said that she is just afraid and not ready to settle down anymore and she wants to be single and be alone for a while. She said that she still loves me, but I don't know how to believe that. If you still love someone how could you break up with them? She said that she doesn't deserve me, and I am too great of a person. I love her to death and I dont know what to do.

People say that "if you let the person you love go and they come back then it was meant to be..." I can't believe that because how can you let the one you love go. You shouldn't let anyone go that you love I feel that you should try your hardest to keep them with you. I don't know if I am wrong? I don't know if tring to get her back is a lost cause? What should I do and if I should try to get her back how do I do that?

There was nothing wrong with our relationship and I have asked her numerous times if there was anything wrong and she said no? I have no idea what to do. Can someone please help me. I would like to thank anyone that could please give me some advice, I am heart-broken. Thank you Advice
You say there was nothing wrong, and she claims there was nothing wrong. However, people who are happy together don't break up. SOMETHING caused her to break up. And the fact that she isn't willing to talk to you about it sort of implies that some communication breakdown happened, that she feels something and can't share it with you.

Why does she want to be alone? Most people spend their life wanting to be with someone else. What does she feel she was *missing* with you, that she wanted to instead be without you? I doubt she was with you 24 hours a day, so she already had her alone time. It's not like you guys were living together and not working and therefore together all hours of all days. So something about the situation bothered her - and not just a little, but enough to make her take the step of calling a long term relationship quits.

I really think you deserve more than a nebulous "I want to be alone" statement. It may be hard for her, yes. But that's one of those responsibilities you take on when you say YES to getting into a serious relationship. It means you don't just ditch when things get iffy and not bother to explain why. Offer to take her to dinner as a friend, and then ask to talk about what was going on, because you want to get through this better. She really has to come up with some realistic reasons of what went on - if only for your own well being and ability to move on with your life.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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