The thing that makes me want to stay is that I do love him, just not passionately

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. He was my first love and I lost my virginity to him about two years ago. The problem is that the sex is not good, for me at least. However, since I've never had sex before I'm not sure if it's just me or if it's him. Part of the problem may be that I'm not that physically attracted to him. I fell in love with him because of his personality, not his looks.

We have lived together for awhile and even bought a house together, but lately I've been wondering if he's the one. Without the good sex life it feels like we're just best friends. Also, since he's the only person I've slept with, it depresses me to think that I'll never have good sex or feel true passion. That's what makes me want to leave.

The thing that makes me want to stay is that I do love him, just not passionately. Also, I don't want to leave him and realize he was the best guy for me. Besides the physical attraction (he's attracted to me though) we have a pretty good relationship. I just don't want to get married and have kids and then realize that the physical was more important than I thought. I also know that if we broke up he would not want to be friends, so I'd be losing my best friend as well. Please help! Advice
You need to see a marriage counselor who specializes in sex therapy.

Passion is an important part of a relationship and you are right to worry about "what ifs" down the road.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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