She tells me she needs time "figure things out"

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I broke up with my ex about 1 1/2 months ago, we dated for the better part of 8 years. The relationship was good but job related stress and other outside stress began to effect the relationship. I truly love her but did not show her the affection or attention she needed. I understand my mistake and fully admitt it, but at no point in the relationship did I not love her with all my heart and soul. I truly would not be the person I am today without her having been in my life. I had plans to marry this girl and I know that had I given her the attention/affection she wanted from me, she would have said yes when I finally asked the question. We still talk once every week or so and we make plans every so often to hang out together. We both admit to still caring for the other very much. She tells me she needs time "figure things out", which is ok with me. I love her and I'll give her all the time she needs. My concern is that the day we broke up , we had an emotional conversation over the phone and later on that night she met another guy. She's been seeing that guy ever since. When we talk she tells me all the nice things he does for her in way that makes me feel awful because its seems like he's doing his best to elliminate me from her mind and it seems like its working for now anyway. She tells me she just can't make a decision right now and I respect that. I love this girl more than my next breath and it very hard for me to just walk away from that. She was my girlfriend and my best friend and I don't want to lose her for good. Please give me some kind of advice, I am hurting so much over this. I try my best not to show her I am and to act fine with her decision but I would do anything to get her back. I know that if she ever does back, knowing what I know now, i would make her the happiest woman alive. Help me please. Advice
I feel sorry for you.

She seems to have taken up with this other guy and now you are in the position of trying to win her back.

Standard advice: make every effort to remain her friend and give her all the support you can. And it sounds like you are doing this.

Make sure she knows that you still love her and that you are trying to help her in whatever way you can.

Once in a while ask her out for a quiet dinner or something else non-threatening. Who knows she may enjoy the possibilities.

I wish you the best of luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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