We've broken up because he lied to me. Plus he's in college and is away for 9 mo. of the year

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My story has alot to it before I can get to the question, so bare with me please :)! So, Im 17 and I was dating this guy for a year and two months. He wa my everything. The sun rose, shined and set on him. He was my first love. I lost my virginity to him and everything. I was convinced that I was going to wait until marriage to have sex but one I met him and fell in love I couldnt help it. We actually met through my best friend (which is his ex gf) But before me and him ever started dating, I talked to her about it and asked her if it was okay for him and I to see eachother. I would never in a million years do that to her without making sure it was okay. Well, once she said yes, I was hesitant, but we went out on our first date, and it was amazing. There was just something about him, and I knew that this one was special. We moved kinda fast. We had our first kiss on our first date and we exchanged "I love you's" after 3 weeks. But its okay because I truly did love him. After his ex (my best friend) found out that we were serious, she was pissed. She would tell me that I wasnt a friend to her at all and that she was even thinking about gettin back together with my boyfriend before me and him got together. I was always really skeptical about hem two talking and hanging out just because of the things she would tell me about him when they were dating and I was a little insecure that maybe one day while they were hanging out *as friends* that he would realize that he didnt want to be with me, and he really wanted to be with her. Needless to say, I was a little jealous. He's lied to me on numerous occasions (just to hang out with her) and he even left me for a weekend to go to Ocean City with her and her mom. We've broken up several times just because he lied to me. Plus hes in college and is away for 9 months out of the year. Hes only home during the summer but he tried to make it back once a month to see me. So we already had a ton of problems: and ex girlfriend who LOVED to get involved and the distance. We ended up actually breaking up for a whole month and I dated someone else, but realized at the end of that month that he was really the one that I wanted to be with. But recently, his ex got involved with us again, and I told him that I cant take her sticking her nose in where it doesnt belong and I wanted her out of his and my life for good. I told him that he had to choose: her friendship or me. He couldnt decide. Well, one day his ex and I were talking online and she slipped out and said that they ended up hanging out a few nights ago. They went for a drive and talked about all sorts of things like philosophy, life and personal stuff. It was almost as if she was trying to make me jealous. Well I did the math and realized that the night they hung out was the night that he said he was going to a party with some of the guys that he worked with. Which was yet another lie. I was set on breaking up with him that night for lying again. I was going on and on about it. Well I didnt get to talk to him that night because he was out with some friends. Which Im glad that he was because if I had talked to him that night I would have made a big mistake. I woke up the next morning wanting to talk it through just because we were engaged and have been for a month or so. And that was a whole new level of commitment. Well, he actually got online the next morning and talked to him ex, and she told him that I found out that they hung out and that I was going to break up with him. He got mad at me and broke up with me. I told him not to do it and that I really loved him and I wanted to work things out. He told me that I didnt know what love was and blah blah blah. I know him and his ex still talk. He ended up telling her that he didnt love me anymore. He wont answer my calls, and he wont email me back. Its been 5 days and Im completely losing it. Everything reminds me of him. I just want to know why the sudden change in his feelings. Should I give up, or give him his space and see whether or not he contacts me? I just know I love him and if he gave this a fair shot, we could work it out. I know he loves me but I dont know why he's telling her he doesnt. Do you think you have any idea whats going on? Why would he do this? *i do know that he does have a boyfriend*

RomanceClass.com Advice
Obviously your ex best friend was a snake in the grass.

She did all of the manipulating to break you two apart. Just for future reference, you should no longer talk with her or tell her anything about your relationships.

Your boyfriend owes you more than he is giving. Write him a letter if you have to and explain your side of the story. If you have never given him flowers before, perhaps now is the time to do it.

Good luck to you!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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