i want him to be my first but i'm a afraid of how it may feel
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
i'm a teenager and i've been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now. He's older than me(i'm 14 he's 16) and also not a virgin anymore. We're in love and i want him to be my first but i'm a afraid of how it may feel. we havent tried any sexual things like fingerin or sexual touchin other kissin and i want to know how i'm goin to know when i'm ready
Here is the answer written by another advisor here and I think it is good:
I'll answer the physical question first. Girls have a protective
"thin skin" that protects their vagina from infection. This can be
thick or thin, and actually for many girls this is broken through
normal activity like bike riding or horseback riding. So many girls
don't have any 'breakage' at all with their first intercourse. The
ones that do have the tearing of that thin skin. Think of it sort of
like piercing your ears, but with much thinner skin. It's not that
painful. And since sex, if done with tenderness and care, is really
pleasureable, it's but a small twinge in that feeling. Knowing you're
ready is a MUCH more important thing. You probably don't think about it
much at the time, but the moment you lose your virginity is really
something you remember for the Rest of Your Entire Life. It's something
friends always ask you about. It's something new boyfriends ask you about.
It's something your kids, if you have kids, are really eager to know. It's
one of those Turning Moments in your life. And if it's a decision you make
poorly, it's something that can haunt you for the rest of your life. "I
lost my virginity in a slimy hotel". "I gave it up in the back seat of a
car." It might seem like a fun adventure at the time, but after a few
months it begins to feel really ... icky and nasty. Never let anyone
pressure you into anything. The perfect sex is about you feeling REALLY
GOOD. Sex is about feeling great about YOURSELF. If someone has to talk
you into it, it's WRONG. If the situation feels uncomfortable, it's WRONG.
Life is way too short to be doing things that you don't enjoy. It's YOUR
life, it's YOUR body. Wait until it's someone that you are REALLY
comfortable with, that you love being with, that you love touching, that
you love touching you, and that you're in a PLACE that you feel totally
comfortable. Believe me, you'll know it when you find it, and when you
find the right partner. In that situation, it can be a completely amazing
experience. If instead, you let someone pressure you (even gently with "I
really love you!") then you'll feel icky for the rest of your life, and
something which could have been beautiful and romantic will now be forever
Hope this helps!
p.s. since you are 14 and he is 16, your having sex is probably illegal in your state and he risks going to jail.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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