Is he testing me or does he really want to be just friends?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
So here it goes ( I wrote before when we first broke up 3 weeks ago). My ex has made it clear he wants to be friends. However, whenever I see him in class and we talk it's so comfortable. He gives me flirty remarks and I flirt right back. We still make eachother laugh and smile. The only reason we broke up was because of the alcohol. I got help and stopped drinking completely. He asked me about it today. Once again, the conversations have been just as if we are still dating. He is still willing to help me (he helped me with a project today and he is helping me move out of my apartment). He's noticed I am a happier person he has told me this. What do I make of this? Is he testing me or does he really want to be just friends? Or could he be waiting to see what happens?

And if it's just friends, how do i get over him. Seeing and talking to him every other day is NOT helping. Thanks! Advice
Good for you for stopping drinking!

Your ex is probably waiting to see if you will start drinking again. He seems very nice to you and that is a very, very good sign.

Use your friendship to strengthen your relationship. The way to do that is to build several aspects of relationships: caring, communications, reliability, honest, trust, paying attention, and honesty.

If you do this regularly he will probably return to you.

If he doesn't, I refer you to our tips on breaking up which are at:

Hope things work out for you!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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