She broke up because he was too needy

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I had been going out with her for a little over a year,we saw each other just about everyday when out of seemingly nowhere she said to me over the phone she thought we should break up. She said she hasn't been happy, but she just realized that the relationship was a major reason why. We have both suffered from depression since before we knew each other. I lost my insurance and stopped taking my medicine a couple of months ago, I became depressed and dependant on her. I relied on her too much,I felt guilty about it, and beat myself up about it, but did little on my own to change my situation. I truly love her. It has been two weeks I have talked to her a little more than everyother day. She has said she misses me too, and loves me. Today she said that she doesn't think she is still in love with me, and that she doesn't think that the relationship is worth her effort. That she gave 300% to the relationship for over a year. Because she got to the point of wanting to call it quits it wasn't working and it wouldn't work because I couldn't give back what she had given. That I had hurt her, that she spoiled me, and relying on her showed a lack of concern for her. I have really tried to be supportive of her need for time and space. I miss her so much. This has been a wake up call for me. I have tried to get my life on track. I am glad that she has become more independant, and I have as well. I never knew she was unhappy, We got along great, we laughed even during the past few months, we never fought. I don't know how she could give up on me, she says she hasn't. I just don't understand. I know I can't make her have feelings she doesn't have or want to. I am trying to stay positive but it is hard, I want her to be happy it is just hard to accept that we can't be happy together. I love her, I miss her, How could I be so wrong, I thought we were soulmates, I still do, I don't want to lose her. what can I do I feel helpless and hopeless. Advice
There may be nothing you can do, but what you are doing so far is certainly the right thing to try! I'm sorry you lost your insurance and can't afford your medications for depressiion. That seems to have the turning point which caused your relationship to go down hill.

Make sure she knows that you still love her and appreciate all the support she gave you. Keep trying, she still may return to you. At least you are still communicating with her.

My best wishes to you!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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