Still cares for ex while current boyfriend wants marriage

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
okay, this is the problem... i worked at a retail store a while ago, and a guy worked there that i fell for. At the same time, i met another guy.. so i liked both of them. i was having issues at home so i dated the older guy, thinking that he could help me. but i still had feelings for the guy i worked with. then about a coulple months down the road, we(co-worker) hung out and talked on the phone. we always did that. well my boyfrined at the time broke up with me and had a one night stand with his( the co-workers) girl because she thought that me and her boyfriend were messing around. well i went to the movies with my co-worker and he really liked me, so he kept trying to kiss me, but i told him not to, because i still cared for my ex. about a week later i took my ex back and we have been dating ever since. well its been a year or so since all of this has happened and my boyfriend is getting ready to propose to me. but this is the problem, i still have feelings for my co- worker and he says that he has moved on, and has a new girlfriend. i know that he is mad at me because i took the guy back, but he has told me that he still feels the same way about me that he always has. the question i have that no one can answer is, how do i move on with my life and get engaged when i still think about my co-worker all the time? wouldn't it be wrong for me to say yes to him if i think about somwone else? i want to get over the co-worker, but i have no idea how. i ahve tries talking to him, but he wont say what he feels. he is still hurt and mad at me, and i dont blame him. he is a great guy and we have been friends forever... i still want that, but how do i move on?????? Advice
My advice is to have a heart to heart talk with your boyfriend and explain exactly what you said here. You need to trust him enough to share this information with him. I would not advise getting engaged with this problem still in the works.

It is possible that just by telling your boyfriend about the problem, the problem will go away. It is also possible that your boyfriend will be stressed out by this information.

In any case, I think you should share the info with your boyfriend.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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