Give it a chance

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I'm 25 years old and have 1 year old kid,separated but on goin legal divorce.After i separated with my husband,i've been starting dating to anyone but iv'e never been serious to anyone and have no interstest with these people that i've been dating with.Until i met this guy lance who really caught up my attention.I was at the bar that time with someone else that i just dumped and busted,so i left this guy alone and after few munutes i went back and check if that guy is still there.But he wasn't there already.And i didn't realized that one of my old friend whos not actually my close friend was there at the bar.I had an affair with this guy once before i get married.But anyway i saw him and called his name surprisingly,i was about to leave that time but he told me to stay there.So this guy introduced me with his business associates and lance was there ands i have noticed that lance stared at me the moment that i sat down and he never stop looking at me.Lance thought i was the girl of his friend,until he stood up and told to his mates that he has to leave as soon as possible and all guys trying to stop him to leave.Then suddenly he stared to my friend and whispered something.And he sat down back right beside my chair.And my friend started talking to him telling that i'm his good friend.And my friend whispered to my ear too,said that lance like me a lot,then lance noticed that my friend telling something about him so he told me infront of his mates that he like me.I was very surprised cause i really don't know what was goin on.By the way that time lance has a date and his date was just coming over,but i don't mind at all.But my friend and lance sound's like arguing for something and i kinda sense that it's all about me.It doesn't seem so good to me seeing them arguing cause of me so i told to my friend that i have to leave soon,i just said that i don't feel good i'm actually bit tipsy that time from drinking.So they tried top stop and i stood up to tell them that i really have to go.So left them and i went straight to a ladies room cause i feel like that im goin throw up.So i was on the toilet while throwing up,suddenly one his guy came inside the tiolet and rubbed my back,i thought it was a lady until i heard a mens voice,asking if i'm ok.Then he said something to me that his boss really likes and want me to stay there.So he he called up his boss thru his mobile to tell that i'm ok.So when we got out from the lady's room i saw his guy and some of his guy and my friend trying to stop me to leave.And my friend asked me to stay and i heard some voice too telling me why i'm talking to my friend and i never realized it was lance asking me.Oh my god they alll went out in the bar just to stop me.Then lance asked me to stay and he gave his room key to me and he asked me to stay for a while.So we went up to his room.I don't know that time i felt something about him that ive never felt to anyone before.We've talking for almost 7hours and we do really have a great conversation.I told him that i judt busted a guy the night that i met him.I didn't tell him that time that i'm separated and have one kid cause i wasn't ready to broadcast about my personal with him.And i asked him if he was married and he said he was already divorce with 5yrs old and 6yrs old boys.He was a New Yorker guy a bank head investors.So we started dating and spent time together,so sad time the we spent wasn't that enough cause he only stayed 3nights and he needs to fly back to New York.I don't know but i felt so empty since he left and had an hardly time on sleeping until 3nights.We stated keeping in touch together since he left and he told me also also that he couldn't sleep to for 3nights and and couldn't stop thinking about me.Something great happened to us,he used to ring me 8times a week and sms me maximum 30times a day and emailed me a quite few times.Until he decided to come back and see me.That time i have planned already to tell him that i'm separated and 1kid.After i told that to him it's the first time he said that he loves me already,he normally mentioned how much he misses me.But that time all my sadness gone away and it was the first time i smiled wider.Unfortunately he has to leave again,he stayed only 4nights,was very sad though.He said he was gonna come back from time to time and it was already 6months until i have to see him again.But before that we had fights because of him being so insecure and tend to jealous sometimes.If he couldn't get a hold to me for 2hours or just a minutes he got freaks out.He used to tell me not to disappear like that.There was one time i went to see my daughter in abroad.I've seen so much changes from him,he never call me that often and text,sometimes i have to text him first before he text me.Until i came back his not existing that often anymore.There was 1sms that i got from hm telling that he hate the feeling that my ex might be our problem and i even told him that were on divorce processing.I don't what was goin on to him.And i told him that i don't love my ex any longer and i have proven that to him many times.I love him so much and been faithfully girlfriend of him.There was so many question that i asked to myself why he never pick up my calls sometimes when i tried calling him especially on a weekend.There a was time the line was cutting off while talking to him over the and his texting that he ran out of battery so he'll call back later.Until he told me that his comin back but for business purpose and he said he still love seeing me again and spend time with me.First day he arrived from New York,we supposed to have a date that time but he never showed up,i looked so stupid that time.He keeps me wondering that time what's was goin on.Until i dicided to make a phone call to his guy who stayed also at the hotel where stayed that time.It was too late in a morning already,lucky the guy answered my call when i phone him to his room.So i insisted his guy to come down at the lobby and he never reject my favor and my boyfriend was actually his boss.So he came down and i order a battle of white wine then we started talking i didn't ask so much question about my bf the only question that i asked to him is where his boss was the time that we supposed to meet up.I don't wanna waste time i know that i have to find out something about the question that bothering to me all the time.I never ask about this to my bf cause i know he would say NO!So i got some idea to find out this things,i want the guy to think and made him believe that i know alot of things about his boss personal life.After that i started telling to the guy like,ok we know that his married right?And the guy suddenly said,YES!And also mentioned with this guy like i was joking,telling that he must be the same age of my bf the he said,he was 29 and his boss is turning 42!I was drunk already while talking to him but i got completely sober when i found these things.After that i told to the guy that i wouldn't these things until we brought this topic.He was very shocked,he told me that were friend and never put him on trouble.I told him not to worry.I came home and never cry all i felt that time is hatred.I texted him when i woke up,i told him that his a big fat liar!He never hear me saying any rude thing about him since my bf known me for 6months ant that was the first time he sees me how rude i could be to him.But i still love to see him after that and i don't expect for us to be together again if i ever see him.The next night i have planned to meet my friends to the bar where he used to hang out.I was at the bar already before he came and i want him to see me so i told to my friends to accompany to go at the lady's room.So my bf saw me,i don't it was almost like the scene when i first met him cause all the guys he was with stared togther at me.And my bf's face was blushing and looked very happy.And he stood up and came over to me,he asked to go outside and talked.He admitted bout his age and he told me that his guy has no knowledge bout his personal life.I've already said so when i when i texted him,so i just told him if his really the guy that ive been waiting for almost six months now.He cuddle and kiss me at my forehead.So here we are again just like the first time we met.So when he went back to New York he called me may times and texted me,he even told me that he want me to get pregnant.It's been almost 4weeks now until i told him that i'm delayed already i was at the party that time when i was talking to him.Now it's been for days his minimizing his text again and i kept asking him if he was ok.He still telling that he loves so much.All of the sudden he told me yesterday when after i asked him again if his ok and he texted me back that his ok and gettin on a plane now going to Vail,goin to ski for a few days,he need break and he also said that things are weird with us agian,He said be well to me and he will call soon.I don't what to say,but i texted his messages back,i don't know what he was trying to say about weird thing and i don't understand at all i even told him that i wouldn't surprise cause he have that already many times before and nothings new to me at all.I told him also that he can have break anytime he want cause iknow youre old enough to know what you're doin now.I told him also that i guess i have nothing to say cause i have already proven to him everything.I also told him i think i have the reason to shut off my phone and dont think that i'm ignoring.I told him that i will never stop loving him.

I have so much problem that i have to deal to myself and i can't handle both.I love him but i'm not afraid also of losing him.If we're really meant for each other i know both of us will find the way to be together again.But not now can't really handle.Do i need to wait and talk to him or just disappear? Advice
My advice is to wait and talk to him. There is always hope. I think things will work out ok for you.

Good luck,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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