She Said He was a Friend, Now She's Dating Him

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hi i have had a girlfriend for about four years , we loved each other very much and had an intense relationship , somewhere between the 3rd year and the last year, a lot of fights and arguments came up, it was mostly because she felt i didn't respect her because i got very nervous and emotional a few times, she wanted me to change and treat her different.

Then this guy appeared in the picture and he was always talking to her and being next to her , at that time i started to be jealous and told her i was suspicious about the whole situation,she kept on telling me it was just a great friend and bla bla bla , then 2 months later while she was giving me so much hope about getting back , she told me that they were dating , and she still kept me on a string next to her cause it wasn't serious and it wouldn't be able to last and it wasn't the same as you.

Now i stoped talking to her and she's still with the hindu guy ,i have used some sneaky methods to find out what's going on (and she feels like a whore and is confused,she even said that she felt really sorry for me. ) i was just wondering where this will lead ?,is there a possibility for us to get back ? what should i do ??

I have been trying to be nice to her as much as i could but still ,am extremly jealous and hurt because she had me there waiting for her such a long while !i threw my pride , self-respect all on the ground for her,i even cried to her feet ,and she's really confused and unstable i wish somebuddy could help me out ! Advice
This is sort of the worst fear of any person who has a partner with opposite-sex friends. They worry that their sweetheart is being wooed by this other person, and that if they're tolerant, they will end up alone.

In essence she abused your trust. You tried to talk to her about your concerns and she dismissed them, and went right ahead and betrayed you. And now she's playing the "who do I want more" game. She's using you as a safety net - if things don't work out with him, she can always go back to you. And then when she's with you, if things start to seem difficult, she can always run away to him.

Relationships require work, commitment and honesty. It seems so far that she's really not willing to do any of them. I'd stay a friend with her if you wanted to, but I'd look around for a new woman to really trust and love. I'm sure out there is a woman who is worthy of your caring and trust, and who will really appreciate your ability to talk about concerns.

Good luck!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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