Guy has a girlfriend but wants sex with ex

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I dated Peter for about a year before he wanted to break up. When we first met (in December 2003) I was still getting over my ex-boyfriend of 8 years who I had lived with for about 1 year. I moved back in with my parents (in October 2003) until I was ready to shop for a condo. Anyway, I wanted to take it very slow since I thought it was too soon to be in a serious relationship again, but we ended up being exclusive. After a few months, he asked me to move in with him, but I declined. He even mentioned going to Vegas to get married. Eventually, he stopped asking (around the summer time). He also got laid off in the beginning of the summer too, which made him a little depressed and definitely didnít help things between us. Anyway, I felt we were growing apart at times and just a few days before Thanksgiving he told me over the phone that it wasn't working and he thought we shouldnít talk until after Christmas. So, he shows up at my door two weeks after that. He seemed nervous. We hugged and kissed and he tried to seduce me, but I resisted. He told me he met someone right after we broke up and started dating her. I asked him if he had sex with her and he said yes - 2 times, but it wasn't like it is with me. So anyway, he keeps calling me to see me and I finally caved in and only planned to hang out, but one thing led to another and we had sex and he stayed over and left in the AM. Now, I donít know what to do. He says he has a girlfriend, but wants to see me without any expectations. Is he just using me or is he confused about what or who he wants? Do I see him, but withhold sex or do I not see him at all so he can figure out what he really wants. I donít want to be the other woman. I want him to myself because I care for him. Your advice is needed. Thanks. Advice
I'd suggest dropping him. If he tires of the other girlfriend, he may come back to you. You should contact him every so often to see how he is doing so you are still in his mind.

Good luck,

Happy Holidays!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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