Needs better commmunication

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
my boyfriend and i broke 4 weeks ago after a 2-year long distance relationship. 2 months prior to the breakup he told me that he didn't "feel it" anymore. he said he loved me to death but didn't know what to do to shake this feeling he had. right away i went into panic mode to try and fix things. i made suggestions left and right, but none of them made a difference in his outlook. it seemed the more i tried, the more he shut down. it was a very emotional time for both of us. one night i would cry on the phone, the next night he would cry on the phone. this went on for awhile until one day he said he couldn't take it anymore. he said he felt we both wanted to stay together but were just taking different roads to get there. he said he'd reached his breaking point and needed to be alone to do some soul-searching. since the breakup 4 weeks ago we've spoken twice with no positive results (i called both times). he says he loves me, that it's definitely not someone else, that he didn't know if it was really over, and that if we were to get back together, we would both have to change some things. i told him i was willing to work on changing some things about me that i wanted to change and asked if he was willing to do the same. he said he is "not there yet". it's been 2 weeks since our last conversation. he hasn't called and i miss him terribly. it is killing me to not be communicating with him, but i don't want to call and get dumped on again. i want to talk to him to see if he has come to any definite conclusions, or to simply know how he is doing. overall, i really want us to be able to communicate effectively and get back together. please help. Advice
Keep trying to call and get some conversation going. Nothing kills a relationship like failure to communicate. It won't be easy going since he is a confused state. When you talk, stress the good parts of your friendship and leave the bad stuff for later when you can talk about it more easily.

Good luck,

Happy holidays!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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