Screwed up too many times

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I have what I believe to be a unique situation but it starts off typical enough. I met this girl at the beginning of the year and we really hit it off and bonded on many levels, finishing sentances, thinking the same things or sharing the same interets. The only real negative bond we shared was we gave her twin sister a hard time but she took it in good fun for a long time. Looking back, I guess my gf knew when to quit and I did not. And as pretty, cute and amazing as they both were, they had never dated, probably cause they had each other. But when I told this girl in October that I was interested, it took over a month before we started dating cause she wanted to hang out more first. The first three plus weeks were amazing and fun. She felt safe around me and felt very lucky and was developing strong feelings and we were together all the time. We took things slow and only kissed. I guess I screwed up when I admitted I had had a crush on this girl 18 months ago after we had just hung out with her. We had hung out with this girl and her friends after we had our 1st date at a hockey game. I asked if she was pretty. There were no emotions behind those words and I didn't think she would care because she had asked about my ex herself so whats the big deal about a crush I had a long time ago? Than she got lost and i did not accompany her into the gas station late at night...dumb move! Well, we seemed to be fine and kissed back home and went on another date and her parents (mom, step dad, brother) met and liked me. But when we got back to campus, she talked to her sister and I guess thats when she realized she really was mad and wanted me to show that I cared. so we talked on went our seperate ways for the night before she forgave me the next day. So the rest of the day was great till around mid night when we were getting ready to go to bed. some kid, came in and pulled a knife on my throat and even though he was kidding, i was pisssed. he than did it to her and she was shocked at first than laughed. we went to her room where i yelled to her, "how could you encourage that behavior with laughing? he was a scumbag and that wasn't funny!" i woke up her room mates and and told her sister to shut up and but did not swear at them, just swore about the kid. But I apologized to her and thought things would equal out. Stupid me, I didn't apologize to her room mates. Things were a little awkward with her the next day but got better after her nap late afternoon and we watched a movie till her sister called and said they had to talk. i wasn't invited and was confused and wanted to know what was going on so I imed the sister and she said she didn't want to talk and that the way I acted the previous night made her not want to make an effort towards friendship and regretted the fact that she had helped us get togehter, cause she had been a major help. her other room mate and i were good friends but obviously they told her something cause we broke up soon after. She told me that when she talked to her mom, she said I had acted like her dad in that situation which is bad cause he is a jerk. But I talked to my new ex the next day and than for 90 minutes the next day on AIM but did not see her /call her. she expressed interest in hanging out but was wicked busy with her job for two days. On thursday i sent her room mates and her personlized poem and hand writen letters telling that I felt awful about taking out my anger on the wrong people. I than did not talk/Im my ex for two days. i just ran into her once by chance during those days but nothing else. sunday night i talked to her at dinner after running into her and her friend is fine with me, i am not sure about her sister, she told me she needed time to think but she appreciated what I had said to her. Anywho, i noticed during our talk that were both seemed sorta tired and emotionally drained. i imed her to remind her to take a pill like i did when we were dating and talked for a while but i think i screwed up for the first time since our breakup by asking her to hang out and kinda insisting a second time, setting myself up for rejection, granted she had worked all day and had Homework still to do, but she said def. later that week. But i think i seemed to desperate. Well, i miss this girl dearly and need to know what to do. If you need any other info, I will tell you.

-I'd rather just have an awnser sent to me unless you really need to publish it on your site, than that is alright Advice
Whew! That's pretty complicated. You need to continue to concentrate on connecting with your ex and try to convince her that you are serious about getting back together. But don't try to be too pushy about it. If you take your time and build back the trust you had, it should work out fine.

Good luck,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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