Atlantic Ocean is between us
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Long scenario but I will try to keep it short... basically I live in the UK and close friend of mine had some friends visit from the states while they were travelling through UK, first night we met there was an instant click, we dated and got in to a relationship, at first I tried to fight it but it was inevitable and I fell in love, this was for the 1st time for me, and being 24, I've been with many girls and had a lot of short relationships but found I get bored quite easily, this girl was different and the feeling was very mutual.... people would be grossed out by us and how in love we were, any ways she had India and Thailand planned and I didn't want her to not go and miss out on an experience, so I said I would wait for her and she said she would do the same, we had spent 6 months together and had tearful exchange at the airport... the moment she left I missed her we kept in contact constantly by email, phone, sms and instant messenger and for the first month and half it was fine, I'd booked a holiday in Thailand to catch up with her for a few weeks until she finished her travel and then we had planned for her to move to the UK, we had talked of kids and a life together... but as you are probably aware things changed, basically 3 or 4 weeks before I was due to meet up for the holiday I got a little jealous of the time she was spending with a guy, it was all innocent but I went through a bad patch, some thing that is unlike me as well but I just felt helpless and had no control, I went a little weird, MAINLY due to missing her so much... once the weirdness there things were given a brave face but deteriorated, when I got to Thailand we had smoothed things out by chatting but after a few days together she went cold on me, we split and I continued the break with friends.... she later got with this guy who lives in Sweden and they spent 6 weeks travelling together. initially after the break I made silly mistakes to get her back.... long pointless emails and telling her I need her, self sympathy stuff.... the gave the reason for the break is that I wasn't the person she thought I was and now she can't change her mind.
Some facts about her is she is fun, out going, independent, free spirited but loving and caring, she's not the type that sleeps about or is in a serial relationship type.
We were in love and the time she spent in the UK we had fun, we got real serious and I know had she had not gone away I would not be typing now....
I think she has found it easier to move on as she has been in love before, for it was first time and I do believe in one true love! I meet and date lots of girls for fun and never get too serious, problem is I finding it hard to have fun since the break up, every girl I compare to my ex, and Sex with other girls is not the same....
....The truth is that I love and I want to get her back, the problem is that she lives in the states, with spoken since as friends on messenger but not by telephone, I know if I had physical contact or was able to see easily I would be able to smooth things out, find it easier to get on with or possibly get back with her (which is what I really want!) how do I go about this when we have the Atlantic ocean in our way.....
....if you have any advise in getting her back I would be grateful, want you to know that I'm not the stalkering type and won't bombard her with emails or flowers in a "bunny boiler way" I just wanna be able to explain that I'm still the person she fell in love with and hope that she will give me another chance.... if that is an option, than I would fully consider moving to the states....
Any help and advice would be grateful!
You are in a very tough situation and I sympathise with you.
She seems to have made up her mind about you and you have the Atlantic Ocean between you. My best advice is to write her an email just like the one you submitted here. It is well thought out, persuasive, and expresses your feelings about her. If she replies at all positively, ask if you can phone her and talk. If that goes well, ask if you could come visit her. At some point during the above consider writing a real letter which carries more meaning than email.
We have a number of tips about getting your ex back, please see: http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/9
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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