Trip to the beach causes trouble

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
will she take me back?

i really hope you might give me some advice. i don't know who to turn to anymore. me and my ex were together for little over a year. i recent had to travel to a diferent country and stay there for 6 months. we spoke every day and we promised that we would stay true to eachother. we had discussed her coming to visit me for a couple of days but we never stablished anythign concrete. mean while one of my good friends said that he would come visit me so we could visit the beach. when the time came that my friend came to visit me we took off to the beach and i didn't tell her about it. i had a horrible time there because i missed her a lot and couln't stop thinking about her. i got really drunk and ended up hanging out with some guys i didn't even know. when me and my friend finally got back to where i was staying, 5 hours away from the beach, i called her. i took off saturday morning and i didn't come back till sunday afternoon. when i finally talked to her she was mad at me. she told me that she was worried about me and that she was very upset about me not telling her. she said that she had planned a surprice trip to come down here and see me and that if only i had called her on friday night she would have told me. i didn't know. i should have called her. i told her that i went down there with my uncle who i was living with at the time. i lied to her. i lied because i was afraid of what she would think if i told her i went down there with my best friend. it was too much for me. i had to tell her the truth. i told her that i couln't deal with the guilt and told her what had happened on ym trip. i told her that i went down there with my friend and that i got really drunk. she asked me if i had cheated on her and i said no. i really hadn't cheated on her. i couln't betray my own heart in that way. she asked if i had touched any women while i was down there and again i told her the truth. yes. i told her that my hands had never been laid on anyother women but that there was physical contact. that was the truth. i ended up playing beach football with somegirls and our bodies touched. i couln't lie you her so i told her. i never laid my hands on any of them. that's the truth. she hasn't spoken to me since and won't answer my emails or call me. she won't answer my calls. she told me that she would call me when she is ready and told me to move on. i know that she said this out of anger, but i want to know what her heart really wants. because she won't talk to me i can't find this out. what should i do? should i keep my hope alive for that love that we shared? should i move on? should i wait for her to call me or should i call her? what's the best thing that i can do? please help. thanks

"C" Advice
Your girlfriend is really putting you through the mill over something that many people would consider a rather minor transgression. It sounds like she was looking for an excuse to break up, except she says she was going to visit you.

My advice is to keep your hope alive. Keep emailing her and continue to tell her you love her, you are sorry, and that you were true to her. Eventually she may come around and answer you in a positive way. It sounds like you had a very good relationship and this mistake has temporarily put a glitch into it.

Also, give her a call every week or so or perhaps send her a dozen red roses.

Best of luck to you,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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