Dumps with no warning
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My guy was a real prince. I've dating a long time, & I know - he's the one. I was single 1 yr after a bad break up from a 3yr rela. He was single 4 mths after a mutual ending of a 5yr rela. We met by chance thru a mutual friend. Knew of eachother yrs prior though. We were a great team. A short romance but things happened fast - a whirlwind, intense, passionate, really intune w/ eachother - He always said things felt right we had potential and had a good thing going. We knew eachothers souls. I was up front w/ him from the start that there were some family issues I was dealing w/ in case he wanted to leave - He told me that is stuff I have no control over - has nothing to do w/ me, they are not me & nothing I say or do will make him change his mind or his feelings for me. He was always very emotionally open & expressive w/ me - shared his hopes & dreams. The energy between us buzzed. Instead of looking for work out of town said he was going to stay cuz he had me & liked what we had. He went on about being attached to me and that things were getting better and better. Said he wasn't going anywhere & I'm amazing, & I'm worth the wait. We got along great, had things in common. Always making plans. We spent an insane amount of time together. Lots of chemistry - the comfort levels were so high it's like we'd always known eachother. We went away a couple times. He had me meet his parents - who liked me and like wise. I was invited to dinner. I met his friends & we all got along super. On our 1mth anniver we made plans for my vacation & he said I was his #1 - a priority. The next day he seemed distant - but he assured me we were fine nothing to worry about happy to be with me & laughed saying yes when I questioned if he wanted me to still be his girlfriend... said he just wanted us to spend a little less time together - he wanted to be able to have the opportunity to miss me. 1 day later he dumped me. Saying the feelings are gone... said I'm not the girl for him. BUT he told our mutual friend that he didn't want to go on in the relationship trying to convince himself that he was the right guy for me. Said I didn't do anything wrong yet he doesn't even want my friendship. I know I had some things going on around me & a high stress job... but couldn't he have just given me some time to sort things out or an ultimatum or a break? Most people who question their feelings have a chat - take a break... do a probationary period. Not a sudden dump. I MISS HIM SO MUCH. He is EVERYTHING I ever wanted. The worst part is I know he really wanted to be w/ me & I took him for granted. Now that I know how I truely feel, in love, what am I supposed to do. They say it's never too late for a 2nd chance, while others... How do you win back the heart of a man you seem to have disappointed & turned off?
I am sorry you are in this sad situation. Few things hurt so much as a sudden break-up. I would recommend that you send him a letter telling him how you feel and asking for a second chance. Better yet, first send him flowers (not roses) and then send the letter.
Meanwhile, you might ask yourself whether you really want to be with someone who would dump you so mercilessly. What's to protect you from him doing it again?
If you haven't done so already, take a look at our tips on break-ups at: http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/54875
and also tips about "I want my ex back" at:
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Don't call him
User Submitted Response from a 16-20 year old Female
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