I want her back, she doesn't want to talk

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I had for some years ago a verry nice, beautifull girlfriend from praq (I live in holland) i really want her back but she doesn't want to have any contact with me any more, why i don't know exactly, please tell how too get her back in my life.

RomanceClass.com Advice
It's a new year, and new years are always great for this sort of thing. The 'new year's resolution' is a perfect excuse to start up old conversations. So give her a call on the phone, and explain that your resolution for this year is to become a better person. Say that you felt she was the perfect person to give you some advice since she had been your girlfriend. Ask her for some suggestions on ways you can improve yourself, because you really want to become better.

She should relax when she hears this - you're not begging her to take you back, you're just asking for some help, and hopefully she'll be encouraged to think you're taking some positive steps in your life. So she'll give you some ideas to think about. Don't argue with her ideas or say they're wrong. Just say that you understand, and ask for more ideas, or for clarification. The more you talk, and share information and are *positive* about it all, the more relaxed she'll be. When she's done, thank her very much for all her time and energy, that you really appreciate it. Then hang up without bugging her.

Now she has a positive mental image of her last talk with you - that she helped you, that you're going to become better because of her. Now really think about the things she said, and start working on those issues. Even if you think she was mistaken, try working on it anyway. After two or three weeks, when you really think you've made some progress on one of the issues, give her a call back. Be all happy again, and thank her again for her help. Say that her help was invaluable and that you really think you're on the right path now because of her. Ask her to have lunch or dinner with you - *as a friend* - so she can see if you're on the right path and give you some pointers. That you're making great progress but that having just some comments would really make all the difference.

Hopefully in this manner you can start being friends with her again, and she can look on talking with you as a positive thing. That's the base that you need to lay before you can even start thinking about anything else.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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