Can I get my ex back?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I broke up with my ex about 2 months ago. At the time I thought it best to do so because I just wasn't getting enough from our relationship. There was also the fact that her ex was always in the picture, always calling her. She was always returning his calls, and I would always let her know that I had a problm with this. She would say "there is nothing to worry about," but i would hear from other people that if they were in my situation, they would think the same as I did. I still had very strong feelings for her, but I knew that things weren't going to get any better so I decided to end it. I didn't break up with her because I didn't have feelings for her, I just had the feeling I wasn't getting treated fairly. But, now since it has been two months and we have talked a few times I find myself just as crazy about her as I've always been. And, I want her more than ever. I really dont know what to do. When we broke up she was very upset and unhappy about the break up, but now it seems as if she is over me and doesn't want a relationship. I really need some good advice on my situation. Thank you Advice
You need to be sure that if you get her back, you won't fall back into the feelings you had before. Your discomfort with her conversations with her ex are not unusual, but you might have to just deal with it if it happens again. You care for her, so if she wants to talk to her ex, then you should trust her to do so.

Regarding how to get her back again. I would suggest the obvious... ask her out to someplace that has a special significance to both of you. Tell her that you have come to realize that you still love her and hope that you can rebuild your relationship. Be sure to be ready to answer questions about how you have changed (hopefully you have) so she won't get dumped again.

If she is resistant to restarting a romantic relationship, ask her if you could be friends. If you can establish a friendship, my guess is that the old good feelings will return.

Best wishes,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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