Should I Admit to Having Cheated?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been in a loving relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years now. During that time I have never that about or wanted to be with another man. This all changed when an x boyfriend came back in to my life. We were spending and evening together when one thing lead to another and before I knew it I had cheated on my boyfriend.

I do not want to have an affair or continue this relationship. I am deeply in love with my boyfriend and do not want to lose him. My question is should I tell him that I slept with another man? Advice
The truth ALWAYS comes out somehow - and the most important thing you can ever do in a relationship is maintain the trust and honesty it is founded on. If your boyfriend finds out 10 weeks later - or from someone else - then he will never trust you again. You need to tell him promptly, honestly, and with great remorse. Explain what happened and why, and explain why it will never happen again. Agree to go to therapy with him if he finds this really hard to deal with. But any other solution is just asking for a complete nasty breakup when he DOES find out. And believe me, the other person always finds out eventually, somehow.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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Tell him
I Say to Lie
User Submitted Response from a 31-40 year old Female

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