this girl that is the love of my life right now

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I already submitted a couple of questions earlier, but I need another answered about this girl that is the love of my life right now. The thing is, we broke up about 3 weeks ago, and she's already back with one of my friends, an ex-boyfriend of hers. She told me that she wanted to get to know me more as a friend. I want to know how do I do that when I'm absolutely in love with this girl already, and it kills me that I can't "get to know her" while we're still dating. Her family doesn't approve of her current boyfriend, but they are absolutely in love with me. I think her parents, especially her mom, saw me as their future son in law. I can't help but think that maybe part of our breakup was to rebel against her family. I don't know how I can get to know her better as a friend, while she's dating my friend, and while I'm her ex-boyfriend. That's just beyond me. On top of that, her family is really nice to me still, and it feels awkward at times, but they're good people and I don't want to break off my friendship with them. I don't know what to do about the whole situation. Please help me if you can. I know it's confusing and it haunts me constantly. Advice
It's great that her family likes you. That says a lot about your character. If your ex- still wants to be friends, that is fantastic. Play it out as she wants. It means you get to spend time with her, you get to hang out with her, you can use this time to get to know her more too. You said that you wanted to show her the real you... now's your opportunity.

I know it's hard to handle wanting to date her while this is going on, but if you can resign yourself to the fact that this is what she wants for now, then you can enjoy her company with only a little bit of pain.

I wish you the best.


-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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