today i found out it has to do with her kid telling her mom i spanked her which i didn't.

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
my fiance broke up with me week and a half go today . she hasn't given me a reason for the breakup. but today i found out it has to do with her kid telling her mom i spanked her which i didn't. shes divorced and has 3 kids plus we work at the same place. I was watching them while her ex took a son to the doctor she was working that day. I was playing with faith shes the one that told her mom i spanked her. there was a toy vacumm which she was trying to hit my feet with I told her that will hurt if it hits my feet and I also said I wouldn't be her friend. I know it was the wrong thing to say . She was hurt and to get back at me she tells mom I spanked her. that was at least 3 weeks ago I thought we got it all worked out. 2 weeks later she gave me the ring back. I love her dearly and want to work things out .She want to be alone and kids come 1st. we where together for almost a year engaged for 6 months. What do I do i've been pretty depressed about it too. Advice
It's a terrible thing that she broke up with you without even giving you the chance to defend yourself. It means that she doesn't trust you with her children, and doesn't trust you to be honest with her about the incident. I know you love her and that you wanted her to be your wife, but these things point to a really fractured foundation that needs to be fixed before any kind of relationship can continue. It's good that the kids come first for her, that's the way it should be. Unfortunately, the kids are everything to her to the exclusion of anyone else. Which means she will end up lonely and alone because no one will be allowed into her space.

I know this is the hardest thing you've faced in a long while. I can't say whether to wait for her or not, but if you do wait for her to come around, be aware that there are some pretty hefty issues that you two need to work on, primarily communication and trust.

I wish you the best!


-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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