I asked her out and she said she wanted time

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Hey I've written to you guys b4, but I didn't take your advice about being freinds longer and move into a realtionship. I decided to ask her out, and she said probably but there was one thing....She said she had recently been in a 10 month relationship, and was having some trouble. She said she'd probably go out with me but she wants some time to get herself together. They broke up about 2 or 3 weeks ago I guess I dunno.

Anyways I said that was fine with me, and she was really happy I accepted that. I know this seems like it worked out for me, but I was wondering what I should do from here? Like how long I should wait before asking again, because I want her to be happy, and don't wanna upset things by asking again when she's not ready. And does this sounds like she'd go out with me if I asked? seems like it to me but I could be wrong. She said she wasn't saying yes or no, probably yes but needs some time to get back on track for a better relationship. I dunno seems like it would be a yes but ya never know.

Also I never got a reply on some topics to talk about, I sometimes talk to her for over an hour and as you can tell you'd probably run out of ideas. We go over school, sports, music, friends, how was the day just little stuff. I'm 15 so I'd like some ideas of what would be some good topics for us. Anyways thanx for your help, hope you can help me a little more.I know this is a tough topic so that's why I need help.

RomanceClass.com Advice
Ahem, doesn't this seem to point out to you that if you'd been friends with her it would have been much better? She's saying that she enjoys having you as a friend but she isn't ready to *date* yet. So be her friend! Don't worry about when to push her or went not to push her. Just be there for her, talk to her, spend time with her. She will LET you know when she is ready. But if you keep harassing her about "Now? Now?" she'll be turned off pretty quickly. What she needs is a friend to care for her. You can still do things as friends. There's no reason to rush into anything else.

I did say that I had an entire page on what to talk about -

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/whattalk.asp

which links to another entire page on interesting topics. But you're saying that somehow people have to talk non-stop. They don't. Many times, the quiet times spent together are far more important than inanely babbling on just because you hate the silence. If you have something to say, say it! If you don't, just enjoy being together! If you watch romantic movies, some of the best moments are when two people just relax together and ARE together without saying anything. The best moments aren't when people are inventing new conversations just to keep the silence away. Silence is a good thing. Learn to accept silence as normal, and not something that "must be filled".

If you really MUST have a new topic of conversation every day for some strange reason, agree to read the same book or watch the same TV show! That way you have a topic. But unless you decide to just talk about random things every day, most humans don't babble to each other non stop for multiple hours each day :)

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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