My Husband's Family is Weird

Visitor's Question from a 51-60 year old Female
My husband's family is weird.....nobody is close to one another...all are very intellignet and smart and doing real good financially..............waht's wrong with those people? Advice
Human beings are all unique. I'm not exactly sure what issues you have with your in-laws. You say they're financially successful and intelligent as well. That sounds pretty nice to me! Would you be happier if they were all ignorant and poor? :)

Sure, they're not close to each other. Lots of families are distant. Maybe the kids were mistreated when they were young. Maybe the husband and wife had serious issues in past years. Maybe the siblings were always competing for the love of their parents. There are millions of things that can go wrong in families. Just because someone gives birth to you, or marries you, it doesn't mean that you were ever meant to get along.

You choose your friends because of common interests and common attitudes about life. You are stuck with your family because you happened to be born into it. I know families where one person is a staunch republican who believes abortion is evil, and another person is a loyal democrat who believes abortion is a woman's right to choose. They both believe strongly in their chosen paths. Sure they can be civil at family gatherings, but to ask them to be "friends" is a bit much. The most they could do is agree to disagree.

Or, say the father was an abusive man who beat his wife and children and was drunk all the time. You could forgive him and move on with your own life ... but to be thrilled that the guy is invited along to a family dinner might be too much to ask.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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