Dating on the Rebound

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I had been dating this guy for three years and we broke up a couple of months ago. I started dating this guy that I work with and Im finding that everything still reminds me of my ex, I even caught myself calling him my ex's name, luckily he didn't catch on.

I feel very guilty because I want my ex back and I really dont want to break this guy's heart, hes a great guy and he treats me like gold and I dont know how to tell him that I dont want to date him anymore and the worst part is that we work together! Please help! Advice
This is the perfect reason why you should never date on the rebound. It could be that you and this new guy are GREAT for each other but that your unresolved obsession for your ex could ruin it all.

You really have not gotten through the breakup process if you're still thinking about your ex. Remember, if you had been GOOD with your ex, you wouldn't have broken up. Many people take months to get over their exs, this is normal. But to destroy a good current relationship because of it would be a really bad idea.

I have a TON of advice on the site about how to get over your ex and how to get through rebound. Don't go chasing after your ex and destroy your current good relationship just because you're not through the breakup process. Work on rebound, work on the breakup. Maybe you can keep your current guy at a distance while you do these things. But to just abandon the current guy (who sounds great for you) for your ex (who is an ex for a reason) is the sort of thing that tends to end up in disaster. Just read through other questions to hear about all the women who tried that, and it failed.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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