Getting through Serious Issues

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
okay my problem is i want my boyfriend back. I had an abortion behind his back and i thought i could take the emotional pressure but i completely got depressed and the reason i got the abortion behind his back was becuase he has been complaining about his depression lately and i got scared. So one night i just completely had a nervous break down and i went to his friends for help but instead it looked like i was pinning his friends up against him and then we found out that my ex had been trying to break us up and that made my boyfriend even more upset.

Basically i want him back and i have written him plenty of letters and i am worried about him. We were engaged and we had been dating three years and i want him back so badly and all i have left is that by giving him the time he needs is best and that he will come back to me...he told me he knows he made a mistake....i just want us to be able to fix it...please give me some advice...i am in a crisis Advice
It sounds like you had a lot of issues going on and that you weren't able to talk with each other about them. And that lack of communication really caused serious problems for you both. It's good that you both realize that now, but you have to now make a concerted effort to change that situation and really get started on a fresh foot.

You need to sit down and talk. Talk about the things that you feel are facing your relationship, and how you two TOGETHER can overcome them. You need to talk regularly and seriously, and really build that bond between you two that YOU TWO can take on the things you face. If something seems wrong, you guys need to talk about it. If one of you is down, together you need to address it. Sometimes depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance - anything from not eating the right foods to really having a lack of a vitamin in your system. It can really destroy your entire life when something *very* easy could have fixed it.

Head in to a doctor and have the depression looked into. It is affecting your lives and needs to be worked on. If the doctor doesn't find a physical solution, find a therapist to work on other solutions. Together you should be able to work through that, and through whatever else life throws at you. But you have to make that commitment to work together on the issues.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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