He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, and my first love.

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I was with this guy for about 11 months...he was one of my best friends. He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, and my first love. I did and still do love him very much. Well...as it turns out he got very depressed a lot and usually his depression had something to do with me. What i forgot to mention is that it was a long distance relationship. He lives in Virginia and I live in Texas. Anyways...i finally got fed up with being the person that got him depressed. So i let him off the hook. We both knew that we still loved eachother and we had even talked about getting married...so we broke up kinda on a good note.

So about 5 or 6 months later, we got to talking again and we told eachother how we felt about eachother. We decided that we should get back together. Well...this time we lasted for about a week because he told me that the reason he got back together with me was because he felt he had to. He didnt want me to be sad or something like that so he felt he had to get back together with me. He also said that there were certain thinds missing in our relationship since we were so far apart and that he would be missing those things. He also told me that if he accidentally cheated on me then i shouldnt be mad at him because he was porbably not in his right mind (meaning he would be wasted bc he liked to do that). Well...after he told me that i broke up with him again.

After that we continued to talk and tell eachother how we felt. I knew i loved him very much and told me he felt the same way. At one point he asked me if i could guarantee him that in the future i would love him. I told that you cant guarantee anything about the future bc you dont know how you'll feel then. He made me feel horrible bc he said that he COULD guarantee me that his feelings for me would never change and he would love me.

He was still talking about us getting married and at one point he asked if i would move to colorado with him. I told him yes and i told him that i loved him. Well, a month went by and everytime i told him i loved him, he never said it back. One night i flipped out bc of something that was totally ridiculous and i told him i overreacted. Well, his response to that was to tell me that he couldnt handle this love thing anymore, and that he only loves me as a friend. And he finally admitted that i was right when i said that you cant guarantee someone that you will feel the same way about them in the future.

Well, as you can imagine, i didnt take that very well and i quit talking to him for a couple of weeks. But everytime something happened to me my initial reaction was to call him and talk to him about...even when the thing that was wrong was him. So i lasted for a few weeks not talking to him...but i couldnt take it anymore. I started talking to him a couple of nights ago and we are talking just like we were before he said that crap. And then he told me that he was hoping that i would get on one night...is he sending me mixed signals? should i move on or is he just playing a game? he is acting like nothing happened...what does that mean?

RomanceClass.com Advice
He is sending mixed signals. He wants to have it all and can't. Long distance relationships are hard at any age, but especially hard in your age group.

This guy also seems to have self-esteem issues. As sad as it may be, you might be better off not seeing him anymore. It will be hard at first, but better for you both of you in the long run. He'll be able to focus on finding someone close to him that he can spend time with and so will you.

Best wishes,

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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Love hurts

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