My relationship of 3 years just ended when my girlfriend said she no longer wanted to be with me.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Its hard to put into words other than to say I'm lost. My relationship of 3 years just ended when my girlfriend said she no longer wanted to be with me. There was no big fight and she insisted that she just wasn't happy but that she did love me. She says she has let me know over the past months and looking back I realize i could have done things differently. She also notes that I'm not good at talking about our future, and by not being good I do mean terrible.
Well two months have gone by since the breakup and I'm still torn as if it happened yesterday. We still talk on a weekly basis but she seems like life is back to normal. She has even went on a date with a guy and kissed another after a night of drinking. As I see my life now I can't be without her. I love her more than anything and need her back more than anything. I know the common advice is to not tell her these things but I feel I can't. She is so of the belief that if its meant to be its meant to be. I on the other hand need to make things happen. She is now to the point to where she doesn't believe me because "her friends exboyfriend said all the same stuff". I've even gone on to tell her I would marry her right now. Please help, i don't know what to do and alls I do know is that I need her. How can I get her back? Advice
First you need to establish whether or not you have a chance of getting back together or not. The best way to do this is to ask her if there is still a chance and to let her know of your feelings. If she says there is a chance then that most likely means she needs time to see that you've learned from your mistakes and have grown. In order to see these things, it will take time. I would imagine she would want to remain friends for a while. If she contines to date and it hurts you, ask her, as a friend, not to tell you about her dating.

If, on the other hand, there is no chance of the two of you getting back together, you need to sever your friendship with her, as well. Seeing her and talking to her will only make you feel bad. To fill your time, start hanging out with your other friends, etc.

Either way, things will get better.

Best wishes,

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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