I Broke his Trust - He Left
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and a half. When we first started dating he would never let me see my friends and one time I lied to him and went out behind his back. He found out and ever since then he won't trust me. Just today my sister brought up the past and he broke up with me.
He has been acting really distant lately and I think that was his hole to get out of the relationship. We really do love eachother and talk about marriage but every so often he gets really mad. But he broke up with me this time and gave me back the nice watch I got for him and wont' even talk to me.
I want him back but I don't know what to say or do to make him realize how much I love him. He won't even sit down and talk to me about it so it's really hard. And I don't want him to go out this weekend with his friends because he might be around other girls. Please help.
Trust is a really delicate thing. Once you have shattered someone's trust, it can take weeks, months or even years to rebuild it. If he can't trust you to say where you are, how does he know any time you're out of his sight if you're where you say you are, or if you're with another guy? That becomes quite a serious question if he is wanting to get married.
We all make mistakes, and if this was a year and a half ago, it's fair to say you've grown up since then and have changed. Think of one or two stupid things he did back then. Then find a way to sit down with him and point those out. Don't do it in a "ha ha you are stupid too" way. Do it in a "we all make dumb mistakes when we are growing up - that's how we learn" way. Tell him that you know he's no longer like that. Tell him that YOU are no longer like that either, that you are completely different now, are older and wiser.
Surely he understands that one small mistake that someone made in their past does not make a person an eternally untrustworthy one. Surely sometime in his own past he lied to someone about something, even if it was to his mom about eating cookies ...
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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